Seth Rogen Is a Self-Proclaimed Marvel Zombie
This Guy Gets Mad Tail

Tila Tequila Assaulted At Concert. Shawne Merriman Can’t Stop Laughing

By / 08.16.10

tila tequila injuries

Most of us remember that lawsuit in November involving San Diego Chargers defender Shawne Merriman and that one crazy Asian broad whose name escapes me. That suit was settled earlier in the year, but this episode might take a bit longer to sort out. Tequila was an onstage guest at a concert called the Gathering of the Juggalos, an event which sounds like a great place to go if one were looking to literally get the piss beaten out of oneself.

Tila gave TMZ a very detailed account of what happened, saying: “I went onstage and immediately, before I even got on stage, DUDES were throwing HUGE STONE ROCKS in my face, beer bottles that slit my eye open, almost burnt my hair on fire cuz they threw fire crackers on stage, and they even took the sh*t out of the port-0-potty and threw sh*t and piss at me when I was onstage.”

“But what about you? Now you have sh*t and piss all over your hands!”

“Small price to pay for the smiting of one’s enemies.”

ASYLUM POLL: How bad do you feel for Tila Tequila?

Oh, but there’s more.

She went on to say: “These people were trying to kill me. So then after the last blow to my head with the firecracker they threw at me exploded, my bodygaurd and the other security grabbed me and ran as fast as they could to the shitty trailor. Since their security SUCKS, the 2 thousand people ran after us, trying to kill me. They almost got me so they finally reach the trailor, blood all over myself, cant stop bleeding, then all of a sudden, all 2 thousand people surround the trailor and busts the windows!!! Even the guys INSIDE with me were shaking! Their hands were shaking cuz they were so scared! So 3 guys inside the trailor had to grab a table and push it over the broken windows and grabbed all the chairs they could find so hold the people from outside back. It was scary as hell!” –TMZ.

Roger Goodell just suspended her for the first four games of the season. I don’t know why little Tila can’t stay out of trouble, or why anyone seems to care, but I’m amused. It’s not that seeing a woman get beat up is entertaining, but seeing this particular person finding trouble yet again. She’s like Wile E. Coyote, but better at math.

THE Smoking Section’s interview with Tila Tequila from May 2010. Fresh…respected.


TAGSNFLSAN DIEGO CHARGERSSHAWNE MERRIMANTILA TEQUILA

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