In news only Satan’s bookkeeper cares about, Los Angeles Lakers forward Lamar Odom and his
wookie wife Khloe Kardashian celebrated their one-year anniversary yesterday, and I imagine it featured a hot tub full of gravy and the last remnants of an endangered species being swallowed whole. While Khloe didn’t reveal too many details, Odom apparently arranged a scavenger hunt for her, which is clearly just his devious way of making her do cardio.
Khloe being the romantic that she is, wrote on her blog to tell the world* how amazing her life is and how happy being married to Lamar has made her. I’m obviously not linking to her blog, and if that upsets you because you really wanted to go look at it then I am afraid that we’re going to have to ask you to leave.
Unhinge your jaw while I vomit all over my Mac Book, Hollywood Scoop:
“I have never been happier, never been so at peace, never been so in love,” she wrote in a blurb entitled Celebrating One Year of Happiness. “I am a better person because of Lamar.
She also wrote to her husband saying, “Happy anniversary to the love of my life! Thank you for everything you have given me. I love you. I can’t wait for our 80th wedding anniversary!!”
So an additional congrats are apparently in order for Khlamar, as the husband and wife are going to live to be 109 and 105, respectfully. They must be taking great care of their health with all that money that she receives for having absolutely no talent or redeeming qualities whatsoever. Want to get really pissed off? Check out this link for Sponsored Tweets and look at how much Khloe charges advertisers to sponsor her Tweets. She gets paid almost $3,000 to write: “had an amazing massage… what is everyone doing to stay cool in this heat?” That’s like six visits to Taco Bell for her. Yeah, life is fair.