With apologies to Jonah Keri and all the other Rays fans out there, I would imagine that there are about 500 thing to do in Tampa Bay that provide a better value than going to see Tampa Bay’s baseball team. I don’t care how good that team is; a night at the ballpark always pales in comparison to a night at the beach. Just don’t tell that to Rays pitcher David Price, whose team is primed to lock down the AL East any day now.
This obviously begs the question: why the hell does Florida have two teams, let alone one? The Marlins have won the World Series twice and nobody wants to see them. They just dumped those programs out in Florida and totally forgot about them. Now I know how my grandparents felt right before they died. Wow, and I thought baseball was boring. Those people could bore the heroin out of Lindsey Lohan’s veins.