Perfect Timing Inc. is one of those companies that makes a variety of themed calendars that you can buy at mall kiosks whenever you’re in the mood for a golden retriever dressed like a different American profession for each month of the year. But it’s also the company to call if you’re in the mood for a 2011 Cleveland Cavaliers calendar to remind you why you don’t want to watch the Cavs play this year. Perfect Timing released the team calendar with LeBron James on the cover prior to his announcement on “The Decision” and now nobody can figure out why they aren’t selling in Cleveland stores. It’s a gosh dang mystery.
In fairness, Perfect Timing created a new calendar for the Cavs after LeBron’s Decision, and the new version featured Mo Williams on the front of it. But that sort of begs the question – Which calendar is more depressing? Sports merchandise stores throughout Ohio are trying hard to get rid of all their LeBron Cavaliers merchandise by cutting prices, but nobody wants to be reminded of the guy who took his talents to South Beach. The good news is, though, that there is plenty of Dan Gilbert stationary to go around.
Give me a sexy look for January, Cleveland Plain Dealer:
Cardboard Heroes, a sports apparel and memorabilia store at Beachwood Place mall, SouthPark mall in Strongsville and Great Northern Mall in North Olmsted, still carries James’ Cavs jerseys, MVP T-shirts, photos of him with former teammate Shaquille O’Neal and an autographed 16″-by-20″ photo, all discounted.
But not one shopper at the Beachwood store has bought one of James’ Cavs calendars.
“Customers ask about it all the time. They’re just as confused as we are as to why we have them,” said employee Kurt Blakeway.
The few people buying the calendars are most likely sports collectors and fans of schadenfreude, or possibly coma victims. But if that’s the case, don’t tell them just yet. It will be fun to see their reactions that first time the Miami Heat play in Cleveland. “What’s going on here,” they’ll ask. Haha, you should have pulled the plug.