I have watched Canadian Football as many times in my life as I have had sex with a Victoria’s Secret model, and I know what you’re thinking, but no, I don’t actually have sex with Victoria’s Secret models nightly. It’s actually zero times, so you’ll understand that I was a bit clueless when it came to watching the ending of Friday night’s game between the Montreal Alouettes (the gentille Alouettes? – Ed.) and the Toronto Argonauts. Tied at 30, the Als line up to kick the game-winning field goal, which I assume would give Montreal control of Canadian parliament. I’m not sure, but that’s what my parole officer told me.
In the CFL, the most notable difference in field goal kicking from the NFL is the position of the goal post, but don’t worry – it gets even zanier! You see, if the kicker makes the field goal, the team gets 3 points, plain and simple. However, if the kicker misses the FG, the defense (or defence for our northern friends) has to retrieve the ball and either return it out of the end zone or, if they don’t think they can return it, they have to kick the ball away. If the kicking team recovers the ball in the end zone, they get the touchdown, or if the ball goes out of the end zone, they also get one point. I guess what I’m trying to say is – SACRE BLEU!
Video of Canadian football chaos after the jump…
Here’s the basic rundown in case you’re still confused:
- Montreal missed a field goal attempt.
- A Toronto player caught the ball but didn’t think he could return it, so he kicked it out of the end zone.
- Montreal’s kicker recovered the ball and kicked it back to the end zone.
- After bouncing around, a Montreal player recovered the ball and the Alouettes won the game.
- Toronto players were declared the shame of a nation and had their moose-riding licenses revoked.
Here’s another fun CFL factoid: A player can just dropkick a ball at any point and if it goes through the uprights it counts for a field goal. But it’s good to know that a place exists where it’s OK for a kicker to miss field goals. You’re always welcome in Canada, Graham Gano.