“Man, I wish this trophy was full of coke.”
Australian golfer Wayne Perske has been convicted by a Japanese court of using and possessing cocaine. Perske received a suspended sentence of one year and six months relating to a snorty, teeth-numbing incident last October when Perske, in Japan for the Bridgestone Open, was busted with 1.25 grams of yayo after a
narc fellow patron at a bar in Chiba reported seeing Perske “inhaling” some nose candy to police.
Perske on Monday received a sentence of “one year and six months in prison, suspended for three years,” a Chiba District Court official said, adding that an amount of cocaine had also been confiscated.
Perske had admitted to having the drug, according to Japanese media.
The Mainichi daily on its website quoted judge Yasunobu Hosoya as saying in the ruling: “Professional sports players must tolerate the loneliness of being unable to see their families and the pressure of competing abroad.” [via]
Ah yes, the cocaine was confiscated, no doubt. Of course, “confiscated” translates to “Best. Night. Shift. Ever.” in Japanese police terminology. And it appears that the judge felt some semblance of pity for the Aussie, citing the “loneliness” and “pressure of competing abroad” as likely factors contributing to Perske’s dabbling in the “Snoot, snoot, whizz, whizz, oh, what a relief it is.” I can see that. It was definitely either those things or Perske really felt like blowing some rails after losing in the preliminary round of the tournament and having nothing else to do. Obviously, the concierge at the hotel didn’t tell him about all the Used Panties Vending Machines. Now talk about a time-killer. Hoo boy.
I want more like this!
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