Vernon Wells is entering Season Four of a seven-year, $126-million contract, which is a hell of a lot of money. Some people would even suggest that it’s too much, and Vernon Wells would actually agree with you. The Blue Jays centerfielder said earlier this week that he tries to use that money to do good in the community.
“You get to go out and impact lives. The way I feel about it, I was blessed with that contract to go out and do things. Everybody would say I’m not worth the money and I would totally agree that I’m not worth that contract, but I don’t think there is anybody . . . but I know what I can do with that contract will far outdo what that contract’s worth.”
Whatever, Vernon. Just go out and spend it on whores like any other guy would. Whores…and a life-sized foosball table. And then when the whores wake up from the roofie nap, just scream OH MY GOD SOMEBODY SHRUNK US AND PUT US IN A FOOSBALL TABLE! It’s great fun until the police show up.