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Eddie House’s Big 3 Cost $25K

By / 02.02.11

It wasn’t LeBron, D-Wade or even Chris Bosh that hit the go-ahead three to nail down a win against Oklahoma City over the weekend. It was Eddie House, he of the 11-years’ and nine-different-teams’ worth of NBA experience, who celebrated his big shot with a tribute to Major League 2 that seemed totally appropriate for the occasion. When asked about the $25,000 fine from the NBA office the following day, House said he “was very surprised” but that doing the Big Balls Dance “was something within the game that I was going to be able to do.” Can we get a ruling on this, Trey Kirby?

Ah, yes, the classic “within the game” defense, which certainly applies to a celebration where you act like you have enormous testicles. Just like Dr. James Naismith included in his “13 Rules of Basketball.” No. 12, of course, reads like so: “If a player makes a big three-pointer, said player should and will be allowed to act as if he’s got gigantic stones. No fines shall be assessed for this action.” It’s a celebration as old as the game itself.

–Trey Kirby/The Score.

Of course, in Naismith’s day, the pantomime was performed much closer to the abdomen. Because the game was full of white folks back then, see. But I defer all questions on the NBA and testicles to Kirbz, who is an authority on such matters. Plus he bakes a mean chocolate almond biscotti.


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