Lassie, Chevy — C
Chevy had two kinds of ads on Sunday: the lame, quasi-jingoistic lunges to tug at our heartstrings, and the ads that they should have been making: trucks acting like dogs and making fun of old people.
Dear Kim, Teleflora — C
Listen, b:tch. Just be happy you got ANYTHING for Valentine’s Day. I’m still not comfortable with the word “rack” in live mixed company. But I’m obviously a prude.
Western Singalong, Bud Light — C-
Stupid Clydesdales. This was probably a 30-second ad that they decided to stretch into a 60-second ad, because it just took forever to get going. Bud Light had only one miss on the night, and this was it.
Runaway Cars, Mercedes Benz — C-
This ad had all the elements in the first act: The classic Janis Joplin song, the Diddy cameo, but the reveal of four boring-assed cars in some airplane hanger fell flat. If you’re such a luxury brand, Mercedes, why the hell are you advertising four cars at once?
Jazz Bar, Stella Artois — C-
Adrian Brody’s nose must have its own gravitational pull. He probably needed a straw to drink that beer.
Kid In A Candy Store, Carmax — C+
Machine-gun humor again. Pick a theme and stick with it, guys.
42 Wild Italians, Chevy — C+
It’s funny because old people can’t hear.
Let Others Go First, Cars.com — C+
Perhaps I’m being too harsh here, but I’m always disappointed whenever I find out that an ad is a “Cars.com” ad.