Somewhere over in England, James Dyson just got to this page, got really close to his monitor, squinted his eyes and started angrily clicking his mouse until his team of sentient robot butlers swarmed the den and exchanged nanotech until they could find a way to eradicate this thing using nothing but sweltering air and brightly-colored plastic.
I think Dusty says everything you need to know about Northwest League baseball. Someone out there named a team after a swirling upswing of dirt, but then needed an anthropomorphic block of shredded wheat to symbolize them. And his name is “Dusty.” Were there any other names? If I lived in the three cities, could I have voted on that? I would’ve called him “Dirt McGirt.” And I would’ve kept him away from any 5K run that resulted in him showing up on some local Pasco teen beauty queen’s Facebook page weeboing out like that. I never thought I’d say this about a Dirt Devil, but man, you suck.
That takes care of the Northwest League, and I hope the two fans of sports living in the U.S. Northwest have enjoyed my thoughts. Come back next Monday when I attempt to cover all 140 teams in the New York-Penn League.
I want more like this!
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