Ah, now here’s something relatively straightforward. The team name is the “Yakima Bears,” so the mascot is an enormously fat lesbian cowboy with a tiny bat. Boomer, pictured here with a bear (right), has been entertaining white people and a decreasing number of Native Americans in South Central Washington for maybe twenty years.
Bears fans can find Boomer entertaining the fans at Yakima County Stadium and providing some of the worst analysis you could imagine on CBS Sports’ The NFL Today. I mean, I get that a baseball-themed plush bear might not be the best person to ask about football, but I expect better quotes than “the question is do they have a conscience? I don’t know what part of the brain controls that part” from even the most underdeveloped caniforms.
Anyway, “The Yakima Bears have a bear mascot” isn’t really ripe with jokes, so we’re going to move on to the next team, who I’m sure will have something crazy.
- Geek & Sci-Fi