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**Online Host**
Welcome to the Atlanta Braves Spring Training Chatroom! |
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KyleLohsetomy: /manages to throw a pitch without giving up 8 runs |
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HerSweetMcCann: /takes the only good pitch Kyle Lohse is ever going to throw |
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FrediGotFingered: /gets fatter, does nothing |
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BenjaminFrankWren: GOOD EYE BRIAN GOOD EYE, GOOD EYE |
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AllSalazarFinal: I think that no matter what, he should swing at this next pitch. |
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BenjaminFrankWren: Good idea, but what about the percentages |
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AllSalazarFinal: last year Brian had an average of .000 in at-bats where he did not take a swing for a 100% chance of failure. However, inversely, if he moves the bat he has a 50% of swinging |
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BenjaminFrankWren: right, but 100% is better than 50%, isn’t it?? |
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AllSalazarFinal: haven’t gotten that far yet, don’t have my calc’ on me. |
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BenjaminFrankWren: baseball would be great if it wasn’t for all these f**king stats
BRIAN SWING AT THE NEXT PITCH
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HerSweetMcCann: Sure thing, semi-skip! |
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KyleLohsetomy: uh hey sorry but I can hear you to, didn’t know if you wanted to, uh |
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BenjaminFrankWren: THROW THE BALL RED TEAM |
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KyleLohsetomy: ok. wait, no, I don’t remember how. oh, hold on, I do /throws awful pitch |
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HerSweetMcCann: /foul tips ball directly into Luis Salazar’s eyeball |
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AllSalazarFinal: BLEHHHHHHHHH /eyeball flies out
/collapses
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BenjaminFrankWren: BAD EYE LUIS BAD EYE |
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HerSweetMcCann: /runs to first |
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BenjaminFrankWren: Speak to me! Are you all right? |
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AllSalazarFinal: /says nothing, as he is borderline dead |
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BenjaminFrankWren: He says he’s all right, and that none of us are to blame! We’ve got to get him to a hospital. Fredi, find somebody else to coach bench. |
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FrediGotFingered: /waits until the 8th inning, finally brings in somebody else to coach bench |
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**Online Host**
Meanwhile, in the Atlanta Braves Mansion of Heaven Chatroom… |
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RunRabbitRun: whatta ya mean Ryan Klesko, Ryan Klesko ain’t dead |
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TheGreatIM: He is. I’m almost positive he is. Didn’t you see him playing for the Padres? Why would I not kill him after that? |
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RunRabbitRun: figgered you’d keep a record of that kind a thing is all |
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TheGreatIM: Yeah, well, you’d figure I’d do a lot of things. |
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RunRabbitRun: dead or not I ain’t puttin’ Ryan Klesko on the All Time Dead Braves Team |
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TheGreatIM: What, you want me to kill Dave Justice? |
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RunRabbitRun: yeah, kinda, actually
hey hold on jesus what in the hell is that behind you
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TheGreatIM: what |
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RunRabbitRun: it just popped up there a second ago, that goopy round thing on the ground, with the
oh jesus, is that a
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TheGreatIM: not gonna make that joke /turns around |
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TheGreatIM: HOLY SH:T WHAT IS THAT |
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RunRabbitRun: it looks like a, like a eyeball |
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TheGreatIM: Oh, right, okay, that’s Luis Salazar’s eyeball, Brian McCann put it out of his head earlier today, I fogot, that’s part of my great plan. |
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RunRabbitRun: man jesus, I don’t wanna sound sacreligious or nothin’, but you got a pretty f**ked up plan |
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TheGreatIM: ha, no kidding, you should’ve been here when I decided I needed Ron Santos’s legs |