Best: R-Truth Continues To Be Almost Awesome
Last week, R-Truth’s half hour heel turn and cigarette PSA extravaganza gave me one of the least enjoyable six or seven hours of my life. This week’s sepia toned recap didn’t help much. I think if I had to rank the ten things I like least about being alive, “watching sweaty people smoke” might be in there (right ahead of “watching fat people smoke”).
However, one of the things I pride myself in as a person and a wrestling fan is an objective approach to what happens and an ability to change my mind when appropriate. Truth’s “Little Jimmy/What (reprise)” promo from last night seems to be getting extremely polarized reactions from The Internet, but I’m going to go with my gut here; I loved it. I though it was money. I thought it was workrate heat pop. Truth’s delivery is weird and unconventional for WWE standards, but that’s not a bad thing. He got a little too pissed at the dumb crowd for chanting “what,” but that’s also not a bad thing. Truth’s only selling point has been his crowd interaction, and he’s keeping that going (one way or another) as he becomes a bad guy. Some of the things he says don’t make a lot of sense (diddly squat, his weird pelvic taunting at the end, and DEUCES~!), but many of wrestling’s most famous promo guys never made sense (Ernie Ladd, Ultimate Warrior, WCW Saturday Night era Dusty Rhodes).
I’m going to give Truth a chance, because Ron “The Truth” Killings (when he can avoid spinning) can be great. He can be a genuine, caustic GET YO SOUP DRANK style heel, and that’s about a thousand times more constructive than getting crunk with Fly Girl Eve Torres.
Worst: Speaking of Eve Torres
Holy sh:t that was the worst STO/reverse STO ever delivered, I mean, holy sh
Worst: John Morrison Can’t Fight
Oh, and before I forget, I’ve been light on John Morrison lately, but there’s no way to take the fire out of a pull-apart brawl like worked forearms. Remember when Daniel Bryan and Miz did that crazy pull-apart? They were clawing and punching and gnashing their teeth at each other. Morrison got beaten up for like twenty minutes last week, and all he could muster this week was a cheap shot from behind, some wimpy forearms, and repeated hair flipping. R-Truth can stomp a puppy to death on Raw, John Morrison is still the heel to me.
Learn to fight, John, Jesus. I’ve met you, you’re a big guy in great shape. Buy a punching bag and start punching it. Stop skateboarding without a skateboard. Punch the bag. Punch it until the bag starts moving.