Something’s not quite right about baseball season this year. Maybe it needs time to settle. The Baltimore Orioles are 4-0. The Tampa Bay Rays added some big name free agents to their roster and they’ve yet to win a game. Cats and dogs are living together. Mass hysteria.

Whatever the problem, it’s time for the Rays to come together and figure out how to start winning ball games. Tonight they take on the Angels, and because you have never heard a joke about how long that team’s name is before, here is another one: The Los Angeles California Angels of the West Coast of the United States Area Code 90012 But Actually Anaheim.

Today’s Dugout follows.

The Dugout

	Online Host Welcome to the Tampa Bay Rays Chatroom!
	Maddon11: so, we lost three games in a row to the Baltimore Orioles. Now I’m open to suggestions on-
	Maddon11: kyle what are you doing
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: hangen myself to my fcuken death with this rope cant live with the exerstential traumas of liven in a worl where baltimores orioles are my superior, would rather be ed up by some worms
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: i explaned it all in the note
	Maddon11: Get down from there, nobody’s killing themselves. I mean, we used to play in jet black and neon green, it gets better
	Maddon11: so, suggestions on how to beat the Angels tonight
	MannyTheTorpedoes: ha we try scoring only 1 run
	Maddon11: yeah, we did that.
	MannyTheTorpedoes: like on price is righ so we no go over
	Maddon11: no, we already tried that.
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: have you considered brunging in the houdini of hard core kyle farnsworth to pitch 1/3 inning an give up 1 hit
	Maddon11: We tried that, too.
	BrignacPaddywhack: Have you tried our Secret Weapon?
	Maddon11: are you talking about you
	BrignacPaddywhack: Yes!
	Maddon11: are we talking about your .000 batting average, your 0 RBI or your 0 home runs
	BrignacPaddywhack: c’mon skip, those are antiquated statistics and you know it
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: ya its like "wins" for a pitcher
	MannyTheTorpedoes: or wince for beisbol clob
	BrignacPaddywhack: We might not be winning any games, but we’re being extremely intangible about it.
	Maddon11: Well, we need to tangible. How do we win tonight?
	BrignacPaddywhack: Kidnap and torture the Rally Monkey!
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: kidnape an torture tim salmon
	MannyTheTorpedoes: play spies
	MannyTheTorpedoes: kidnap an torture spies
	Maddon11: Any suggestions not involving kidnappings or torture?
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: can we have the oriols play them instead
	BrignacPaddywhack: yeah skip, the O’s are great, they’re like a super team of Monstar minor leaguers!
	MannyTheTorpedoes: an flaggererro
	BrignacPaddywhack: and Derrek Lee!
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: an jeff conine probly
	BrignacPaddywhack: yeah, let the O’s play the Angels instead!
	MannyTheTorpedoes: the oase
	Maddon11: What about us? Isn’t there something we can do? Without the Orioles?
	BrignacPaddywhack: …
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: lol probly not

The Dugout: Beat L.A.

The Dugout

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