Yesterday’s video of a 7-foot bear learning the coldness of the human heart was pretty funny, but today’s video amps up the hilarity by making every possible aspect of a mascot’s missed high-five sadder. Watch as a mascot from the United Way (aw) tries to get a high-five from a person carrying the Olympic Torch (aw) while wearing a MITTEN (AWW) and gets it, only to be denied by a security guard who allows the hands to get SUPER CLOSE but stops it, because there is no time for them to actually touch. “No, you need to go!”
I didn’t think this kind of thing happened in Canada. YOU JERK, THAT POLYWHIRL-LOOKING THING WAS WEARING A MITTEN. The only way it could be sadder is if a puppy was about to die and the mitten-to-mitten interspecies high-five would’ve saved it. This is why your opening ceremony pillar contraption didn’t work, Vancouver. Because of this guy.