When it took longer than an hour for President Barack Obama to take the podium last night to make the announcement that the U.S. had killed Osama Bin Laden, a little part of me was hoping that he was busy watching Khloe & Lamar and showing the CIA their next mission.
Miami Heat 99, Boston Celtics 90 (Series: 1-0 MIA)
Prior to last night’s Game 1 of the Eastern Conference Finals Semifinals, LeBron James said that this series with the Celtics is personal. I assume that means one of three things: 1) He still doesn’t appreciate Paul Pierce’s South beach talents Tweet from earlier this season; 2) He still doesn’t appreciate how Doc Rivers played his four All-Stars at one time as an assumed message that his team has a Big 4; 3) Delonte West needs to stop banging his mom.
Actually, we know that it’s a little bit of 1 and 2, and a whole bunch of 4) He’s tired of people telling him he can’t beat the Celtics… with a pinch of Delonte banging his mom. That’s why he lifted his team upon his shoulders, charged to the rim and then dished it off to Dwyane Wade, who scored 38 points to lead the Heat, while James Jones was huge with 25 off the bench. Jones also helped set the attitude early, as he provoked Pierce into his first technical foul, and then Pierce was ultimately ejected for a second technical after an altercation with Wade. Is there anyone in the NBA better at head games than Wade? I say no.
Fun note: Rivers was upset by the Heat’s style of play, calling it “chippy”, adding, “That ain’t physical.” And then Kevin Garnett slapped him in the nuts.
Memphis Grizzlies 114, Oklahoma City Thunder 101 (Series: 1-0 MEM)
I like to picture David Stern in a large room with a variety of wealthy men, much like Auric Goldfinger, discussing his plans to move certain teams to new cities to avoid losing more than the $300 million he’s already lost. As he informs them that nobody in New Orleans, Sacramento, Charlotte or Memphis is safe, someone yells out, “But commissioner, Memphis defeated Oklahoma City!” And then Stern slams his tiny fists on the table, pushing a button that opens a gigantic hole in the floor, dropping that naysayer into a pit to be ravaged by Eddy Curry and Cheryl Miller. Or something like that.
Zach Randolph said that his Grizzlies believe in themselves and they’re confident that they can beat anyone to win a NBA Championship. Meanwhile, Stern said that he also believes that Memphis can beat anyone in the Finals, except for reruns of Glee.
