The Best and Worst of WWE Raw 5/2: Happy Dead Osama Bin Laden Day

By: 05.03.11  •  28 Comments

It kinda looks like he's MAKING deuces.

Best: R-Truth is Deuces

I don’t know what “Deuces” means (I know it means “twos” and “poops,” but I think it’s supposed to mean something exclamatory as well), but R-Truth has been them lately. There’s a downside to the first wrestling match ending in zero seconds because of a pre-match attack, but Truth is justified here: he’s lost a connection with his friends and fans, and is so unbelievably pissed off because he’s SURE he’s in the right, and nobody will understand it. They just keep booing him and cheering what, and it’s driving him mad. I like that. I also like it when somebody shows up out of nowhere and murders John Morrison, especially when that goes on for more than several minutes.

And look at his face. R-Truth’s face is awesome. JR’s understated “R-Truth looks possessed!” was amazing, as were his desperate attempts to get the Paydirt over as a violent move. People shat on Paul Burchill’s C4 because the guy holding him had to back flip to make the move work, but Truth doesn’t hook a leg or anything, he just holds them there and jumps to the side, and the guy collapses onto his face helplessly as if guided by supernatural forces. And then sometimes they forget that it was supposed to hurt, as in the case of…

Worst: John Morrison Forgets How Necks Work

Morrison had me for a moment. He was lying on the ground with his arm python’d around his neck, trying to get up without the help of the trainers, EMTs, referees down. I was buying that Truth’s attack had severely hurt his neck, and the screaming kids in the first few rows agreed with me. Then, as if he was giving me the middle finger through my television set, Morrison flipped his hair back to get it out of his face, using only his neck. I felt like the manager from Slap Shot when this happened. “WHAT’RE YA DOOOOIN’?!”

So, to recap, here is a list of things John Morrison doesn’t understand:

1. How friends work
2. How girlfriends work
3. How pro wrestling works
4. How to speak without sounding like a fat 11-year old
5. How necks work

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