The Best and Worst of WWE Raw 5/2: Happy Dead Osama Bin Laden Day

By: 05.03.11

Best: Miz Vs. Cena When Cena Isn’t Nigh-Unconscious

Cena continues to be better than The Rock (and you should still deal with it) by putting on an entertaining 15-or-so minutes of wrestling match instead of setting Diddy Dirty Money to clips of Rocky Johnson and playing it for himself. Cena vs. Miz II was a welcomed addition to the show, and was way better than their match at Wrestlemania, which was overshadowed by the whole Mizless build-up and the concussions, and also the stupid f**king nonsensical Salvador Dali ending. I love that Miz is adding more and more theatrics to his signature moves so they’ll make it into the video games, and I love that he has Cena scouted well enough to kick him in the face when he goes for the Attitude Adjustment. Still not sure why he’s taking that big swing when Cena shoulderblocks him a couple of times, but what can you do.

The ending was straight out of Dusty Rhodes’ most passionate fan fiction, and Miz getting (and losing) his championship rematch the night after he lost the belt doesn’t bode well for his immediate future, but he had Cena beaten, and he looks like a legitimate main event player. Well, sort of.

Worst: Referee Logic

I don’t know when the referees became Batman, but if I saw Alex Riley in the ring celebrating with Miz and the WWE Championship, I would assume that Riley brought the belt into the ring because Miz just won the match. The referee pieced together the story via some sort of sixth sense, changing his decision on the fly despite no evidence greater than “the belt is here now.” If these guys had been around when Eddie Guerrero was cheating to win, he would’ve never stopped taking his GED with Chyna.

Best: Hour 2 is Getting Pretty Good I Guess

They followed Cena/Miz with a lengthy-ish tag team match, and ridiculously placed commercial breaks aside, hour two started getting pretty good. Everybody in the tag match (Mysterio, Kingston, Swagger, and McIntyre) can handle themselves, and while it didn’t break any AJPW star records it was what I want to see when I change over to USA. The only downside is that Drew Mac didn’t get his own entrance, and got stuck posing like a gay Steiner Brother over Swagger while he did lispy push-ups. I can’t confirm that, but I’m going to go ahead and guess that those push-ups were lispy as f**k.

Best: Alberto Del Rio

Del Rio is really coming into his own, dressing as Don Johnson and running down Mysterio in a casual way that seems like it’s coming from an actual for real Mexican Aristocrat. Del Rio didn’t scream or shoehorn in a bunch of catchphrases, he watched the match and talked to King and JR when they asked him questions. He was killer, and I don’t even mind them regurgitating the Rey/ADR Smackdown thing if it means we get more of Del Rio calling him a “little chee-wha-wha.”

The best was JR asking Del Rio what he thought of Mysterio’s offensive flurry, and ADR responded with “He looks like a little dog, running around all over the place!”

Worst: Goodbye CM Punk, Hello Dave Batista Jr.

Is anybody up for a Mason Ryan superpush? No? How about a Nexus breakup angle? Where we get to hear Mason Ryan be Welsh? No, you don’t want that either? Hm. Well, at least we got to see him totally nerf Kane’s stupid offense, which I’ve been dying for somebody to do for years. “RAHH I’m gonna choke you!” “NO YOU AREN’T, YOU’RE KANE, EVERYTHING YOU DO IS STUPID, HERE HAVE A SH:TTY WELSH SIDE EFFECT, BOOM ROASTED.”

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