Best: Alex Riley is Doing it Right
The Miz calls Alex Riley a worthless moron and pie-faces him, so Riley responds by kicking his ass. Michael Cole runs down Riley and calls him a turncoat, so Riley kicks his ass. Miz runs down and jumps Riley from behind, so Riley kicks his ass and sends him packing. Did WWE finally figure out the fans can’t live vicariously through a loser? If Riley keeps his hilarious nu-metal Trey Parker entrance theme and keeps punching people in the face when they call him names, he’ll be the biggest act in the company. He just needs a t-shirt and some hand signals.
Best: You’re a… [waits 20 minutes] BASTARD
Michael Cole was on a roll last night. You don’t need me to announce it, but Cole works best in small doses, and when he’s allowed to STAY in a small dose, he can be fantastic. This is the reason we started warming to him on NXT. He ran down Riley with passion and maintained a strong heel persona without wearing funny clothes and sitting in a glass box and insulting every single wrestler on the show. He had a legitimate beef with Riley, and the segment made sense. People reacted. See how this works? And then he not only dropped the amazing hyper-pause “bastard” insult but referenced VEGAS VACATION. Of all the Vacation movies to reference, he references Vegas Vacation. That gets him a best, I don’t care what his foot looks like.
Worst: Eve Torres, Watchin’ Mariko Yoshida Videos on the YouTube
What’s worse, Kelly Kelly trading in the cartwheel jumping back-strike for a bleached asshole stink face or Eve trying out joshi submissions? It reminds me of when Candice Michelle got the worker bug and tried those Susumu Yokosuka running cradles and kept landing on her head. Eve should stop wrestling completely and try being someone’s sort-of pretty rec league soccer-playing wife.