Best: Better Than You
Part of me wishes Punk was still on Smackdown so I didn’t have to keep coming up with explanations for why he’s the best possible WWE-style wrestler. I remember Vince McMahon explaining how John Cena was the perfect WWE Champion because he’s in great shape, loves the fans, has a passion for the business and doesn’t have a family at home to tie him down. That’s probably true, but Punk’s got him beat — he’s on literally zero drugs, he’s the closest thing we’ve ever had to a wrestler pleasing an arena crowd AND the Internet, and the only people he seems to care about are wrestlers. Well, wrestlers and G.I. Joes.
Punk is your creative ace, working on a canvas of sternly-spoken truths and yanked puro movesets, lifting up the Otungas and the Festusees to a higher level. He should be featured (and winning) on every show, and while the best actual wrestlers in the world struggle with your definition of WWE Style, Punk redefines it by being the exception. The guy was born to do this, and to do it exactly like he wants. He will become a monster to fight the monsters of the world. AND WE ALL FORM ONE DARK FLAME
Also Best: Woo, Rey Mysterio Lost!
Before I run into my living room and pop in Wrestlerave, how great it is to see Rey Mysterio lose? Even typing “Rey Mysterio lost” seems weird. He just kills everybody he’s in the ring with, and only seems to lose when there’s been outside interference from like eight guys (the Straight Edge Society) or when a Hispanic person puts his limb against something and hits it with a chair (Chavo Guerrero, Alberto Del Rio). Mysterio never gets hit with finishers and pinned. Ever. It’s infuriating. He’s 5’2 and weighs 52 pounds, Mason Ryan needs to channel Spirit Totem Batista and start throwing him into guardrails.
Best: Alberto Del Rio’s Face After Watching Big Show Get Hit By a Car