The Best and Worst of WWE Raw 5/9

By: 05.10.11

Best: Ricardo Rodriguez and Alberto Del Rio’s Reaction To Him

Raw’s opening segment (once again reinforcing the kayfabe idea that the Raw general manager doesn’t make any matches before the show and just waits for a bunch of guys to walk out when it starts and throw out some challenges … there’s like a huge single-file line of guys waiting to start off the show, but Ryder and Kaitlyn always show up late and never get on the show … also, if nobody starts off the show with a challenge, the Raw GM sends Michael Cole an e-mail that says RAW ROULETTE or BATTLE ROYAL FOR NOTHING) was fun. Alberto Del Rio and his personal ring announcer Ricardo Rodriguez continue to be a wonderful part of my wrestling program, especially now that their dynamic is evolving past “rich guy and his employee employed for arrogant purposes.”

Del Rio is easily the best addition to WWE programming in the last few years, and he’d win that if he never wrestled and just stood in the ring winking and making faces at people. Watching him get surprised, then turn and start clapping his hands with a big smile on his face when Ricardo interrupted the Miz with ALBERTOOOO DEEEEEEL RRRRRRIOOOO was tops. I love that Del Rio really seems to like Ricardo, and claps for him like he’s a disaffected parent with a talented child. It’s sort of like Lisa Simpson telling Snowball to “be the baby” for Nelson Muntz. And then he did this!

Ricardo Rodriguez is money, and until Archibald Peck ends up WWE Champion (and it will happen) he’s my favorite CHIKARA-alumni success story.

Best: John Morrison is Dead, So Let’s Forget About Him Forever

The best wrestling news of the week is that John Morrison was parkouring across the street and got murdered by an oncoming bus, simultaneously ending his life and disproving his parkour “overcome any obstacle in front of you” philosophy. Then I checked my facts (thanks a lot, Bleacher Report) and found out he was having neck surgery and would be out for a long time, which is also okay. I’m not happy that a human being is going through so much pain, but I am extremely happy that fictional character John Morrison assumedly broke his own neck a la the Joker in The Dark Knight Returns by flipping his hair out of the way after the attack on last week’s Raw. Maybe Morrison can learn to squirm around through some handrails while he’s in a wheelchair.

I’m hoping the rehabilitation process involves Morrison telling Melina that it’s okay if she wants to have sex with Mason Ryan, he understands, because he can’t really move. And then she looks up from Mason Ryan’s lap and is all “I’m sorry honey did you say something.”

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