Proving that no funny t-shirt goes unpunished, Dallas Mavericks shooting guard DeShawn Stevenson was arrested for public intoxication in Irving, Texas, on Tuesday night, two days after winning the NBA Championship. Police picked up Stevenson wandering around an apartment complex (where he does not live) in the middle of the night, and he had no idea where he was, or how this gigantic Abraham Lincoln face ended up on his throat.
From ESPN-Dallas reporter Tim MacMahon:
He was arrested without incident on the Class C misdemeanor charge based on the results of a sobriety test, officer’s observations and his statements.
“They felt he was a danger to himself and others,” Irving public information officer John Argumaniz said. “Basically, he was intoxicated to a point where he didn’t feel comfortable letting him walk away or leave. They didn’t have any other options at that point.”
The Mavericks say they were unaware of the arrest, probably because Mark Cuban was too busy taking pictures of himself pissing at a urinal with the Larry O’Brien Championship Trophy to watch the local news. They have no comment. The Internet of course has TONS AND TONS of comments, including a vague SO THIS IS WHO YOU CHEER FOR INSTEAD OF THE HEAT, INSTEAD OF LEBRON, BOSH, WADE, WHAT A JOKE talking point.
All I can really respond with is “yes, wandering around drunk in an apartment complex is not a really horrible thing, guys, that is like 90% of Memorial Day.”