Best: Raw is Fire Pro Wrestling Returns
Ezekiel Jackson, Bryan Danielson and Mistico is the most FPR trios team of all time, and I love it. Everyone got to shine; Danielson is the best pro wrestler in the world, Jackson knows how to do at least three bodyslams, and Mistico got to do a couple of cool things on live TV without Gail Kimming it and probably looked better than he has since he debuted. Sin Cara should be a HUGE DEAL~, and honestly all he needs to do is be crazy and stop screwing up his finishes for about six months and everyone will forgive and love him. Those kids go crazy for John Cena’s apeish shoulderblocking, they should be losing their little goddamn minds over El Príncipe de Oro y Plata.
Also, I love that Cody Rhodes’ “new image” for Ted DiBiase boils down to “regular Ted DiBiase, but with new wristbands”. I’m sad that nobody in the Raw audience cares about Smackdown, and that the Barrett vs. Jackson Intercontinental Championship match at Capitol Punishment is that match you LOL at when you’re in the used DVD store and pick up a five-year old pay-per-view. I bought a WWE pay-per-view off the $1 clearance rack at Half Price Books the other day that has a Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Masters match on it. Hahahaha, what the hell, when did this happen, and why did it happen alongside so much Bobby Lashley?
Worst: Can We Not Even Keep Up Kayfabe on the Price is Right
I’ll give the Be A Star commercials a break (because “bullies”), but Kelly Kelly and the Bella Twins should not be co-existing on a game show no matter how many times Michael Cole says they’ve “put their differences aside”. Aren’t their “differences” an almost non-stop six month span of mental and physical abuse? Kelly should’ve gone on the show with with Gail Kim and some imaginary African-American babyface Diva, or the Price is Right should end with the Bellas hitting Kelly from behind with the Showcase and doing that derisive Stacy Keibler bent-over taunt-point at her.
Are the Bella Twins the worst developed characters in the history of WWE? They went from incestuous starf**kers to heel bullies who actually hate bullies and get along with everyone, but we’re supposed to pretend they don’t. The hell is that?
Also, HAS there ever been a black woman portrayed as a decent person by WWE? Alicia Fox is a heel, Jazz was a heel, Jacqueline was a heel, Kharma was a savage beast, Linda Miles was a transvestite dominatrix. Every black girl in Tough Enough or on NXT gets the “I’m a BITCH and I KNOW IT” gimmick. Even Shelton Benjamin’s Mama was a bad guy. Get a grip, guys, black women don’t like me either, but I’m not going around telling people how awful they are.