Best: Internet Darling Mason Ryan
In case you didn’t read the last page, the Power to the People voting went totally fine with no errors, and the WWE Universe chose Mason Ryan to face Evan Bourne instead of Sin Cara. See, WWE, this is what happens when you try to work the options and don’t just give us three good ones. I texted “D” because I wanted to see Evan Bourne face Delirious. I guess I should’ve specified that when I texted it in. They probably think I’m an idiot. Ah sh*t.
Anyway, this is my tweet from last night:
I stand by that. No amount of compelling flipping can make up for the loss of LULZ watching Mason Ryan try to figure out how to take a dropkick on the fly. He’s never done it. And I’m glad we’re all friends.
Best/Worst: Whut the Hale
This week’s “John Cena wiping Big Jimmy’s tears with his sweatbands” award for Best Best goes to Evan Bourne trying to small package Mason Ryan. Jump to the 1:38 mark in the video to watch it unfold, with Booker T’s amazing call of “WHUT THE HAYAL???” Because seriously, haha, what the hell?
The icing on the Best goes to the match commentary itself, where Booker T will not stop referring to Ryan as a “spectacle” and saying that when you look at Mason Ryan you want to be like him in oh so many ways. Hey, that’s Mason Ryan! Oh sh*t, suddenly I want to shave my entire body and f**k a Bowflex. And the LACTIC ACID~! Booker’s two-night streak of discussing lactic acid is the best. Keep Booker forever, even if Raw sounds like a two-hour long DMX/Nickelback ultimate mash-up.
Worst: 0% of People Want to See Evan Bourne vs. Jack Swagger
I can’t believe a single person voted to see Jack Swagger face Evan Bourne on Raw. Maybe it’s people who were tuning in to Raw for the first time and thought “I don’t know anybody, so I’m going to vote for the first guy”.