Best: R-Truth Makes Audience Boo the Union Point of View
I love R-Truth, all of a sudden. I’m enjoying him more than I’ve enjoyed someone since Santino was a genderphobic guido dating out of his league, or at least the heyday of The Dirt Sheet. I guess if you read these columns, you knew the second he marched out onto the stage dressed as a Confederate Soldier, improperly singing a war hymn about Little Jimmy, that he was going to be a “best” here. How can you deny him? He’s doing something nobody else is doing, and doing it well enough to be in the ring with Vince McMahon and Stone Cold Steve Austin and not look out of place. And he called Stonewall Jackson and Robert E. Lee “inbred rednecks” and got a crowd in 2011 to inadvertently cheer for guys who would rather leave the country than stop owning black people. I’m sorry, he got them to boo for “states rights.”
Truth makes every segment he’s in better. He temporarily made the Barack Obama press conference gag hilarious (“LITTLE JIMMY GOT A BOAT, I DON’T GOT A BOAT, AND YOU’D PROBABLY TRY TO PUSH ME OUT THE BOAT!”) in spite of Jerry Lawler’s awful, scripted politics (I mean seriously, jesus christ at “imagine if President Obama told the truth for once”). Even the backstage WRESTLING IS COMING UP NEXT pantomime segment was great, with Miz doing this tortuous bug-eyes thing, trying to talk some wordy sense into a guy who might come to the ring dressed as a giant banana.
Worst: And Speaking of the Confederacy
…it was pretty hilarious to see Cena’s stars and bars t-shirt on display right there next to a black guy dressed like a Confederate.
John Cena loves to talk, and he can do it quickly. I read a great point earlier today that Cena was the “writer’s voice” in the segment. The other characters got to wander out and do their thing, and it all felt organic, and then Cena had to jort down to the ring and explain the “point” of everything. I think that’s the major problem people have with Cena, they just can’t articulate it. It’s not that he “can’t wrestle,” because he can. It’s not that he wears bright shirts or the jeaniest of the jean shorts, its that he’s somehow allowed to be both narrator and protagonist. He’s Nick Carraway AND Jay Gatsby. That’s why it doesn’t work. If Raw is the West Egg, Cena can be the Gatsby, but he’s got to let Zack Ryder narrate.
“In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice, bro.”