Worst: Alberto Del Rio is Getting Wade Barretted
Poor Alberto. I think feuding with The Big Show is your default “sorry, we don’t know what to do with you” spot. It’s made even worse when your feud with The Big Show involves one of those pre-taped vehicular manslaughter segments and a midget/lackey dressed up as your opponent. All they need to do is add a birthday cake, a stunt fall through some obviously cardboard boxes and the in-ring comedy of John Morrison to make this the most obvious thing of all time.
Alberto Del Rio should’ve been the champion back at Wrestlemania. Think about what would’ve been different. Edge would’ve never done that spear to Brodus Clay that made him retire. Christian wouldn’t have had a cup of coffee with the World Heavyweight Title and wouldn’t be locked in this endless loop of losing to Randy Orton. Del Rio might be having a CP (the PPV, not the other CP) match against Daniel Bryan or Sin Cara right now. The only downside is that we would’ve lost that Big Show/Peter Griffin segment from a few weeks ago, but that’s the kind of thing I’m willing to sacrifice. Edge, you shouldn’t have dropped an elbow on his car — you ruined his life.
Also, does anybody know what Wade Barrett is doing right now? Is he selling insurance?
Best: Zack Ziggler On Raw!
Michael Cole deserves the biggest and most thorough “worst” for messing up Zack Ryder’s name during the only match we’re going to see him wrestle on Raw. The Superstars-on-Raw theme continued with Ryder taking on Kingston, and honestly, I don’t care that Ryder got in about four seconds of offense, I just feel happy for the guy. I’m emotionally attached to one of the Edge Heads. I want to see him succeed, because he seems like a funny, nice guy. Is that a bad reason to support a professional wrestler? I think that’s why I liked Dusty Rhodes when I was little. He shook his Santa belly and wanted to do what was right.
Anyway, the match was okay, highlighted by Ryder’s chest bump, which is like being through the looking glass on every college dorm fight ever.
Best/Worst: Ziggler and Vickie on Commentary
Dolph Ziggler has never sounded great on the microphone. I mean, I guess when he was screaming his name with the Spirit Squad he was pretty good, but his charisma is mostly in what he does, not what he says. I said that about Edge and Christian, too, because they randomly showed up on Raw after Wrestlemania and were hilarious surfers. Ziggler may’ve had his hilarious surfer moment here, doing commentary and managing to put himself, Vickie, Zack Ryder and Twitter over in the process. This is a best.
The production team gets a worst for cutting to them on commentary every four seconds, causing us to miss about 75 seconds of the 80 second Zack Ryder match. They’re on commentary, we can hear them. We don’t need to see them actually saying things. You’ve got a worst almost any time we see the announcers actually saying things.
Vickie gets two additional bests here: one for looking great (Lawler really should’ve apologized to her for last week) and one for not being able to stop shoot laughing at the dumb jokes.