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The Dugout: Meet the Daigles

By / 06.23.11

Several days ago, With Leather’s editor was enough of a women’s softball nerd to report that Majorish League pitcher Casey Daigle and Olympic gold medalist Jennie Finch had given birth to their second son and named him like a minor league mascot. It’s been a slow news week (with the biggest story so far being about thirty seconds of O.J. Simpson killing his wife) so Baby Name-Gate has started to circulate and was a top headline today on Yahoo News.

As one of the first sports blogs to report the story, I feel it is my responsibility to reveal my source. That source is a fictionalized version Ms. Finch herself, and I’m proud to reproduce here the chat transcript I observed. After you’re done, come back to the main page and refresh, because I’ve got a story going up about Cat Osterman naming her newborn “Dog”.

Today’s Diesel Dean Daigle Dugout dollows. Follows.



The Dugout

FinchWhatYouStarted: Casey, I need to go to the hospital.

DaiglebahSystem: why, what did the dodgers fans do to you, HOW MANY OF THEM DID IT, I SAW IT, IT WAS A BLACK GUY
FinchWhatYouStarted: No, stupid, I’m pregnant. I have to go to the hospital.

DaiglebahSystem: you’re pregnant?? since when

FinchWhatYouStarted: Remember like four or five years ago when you showed up for a few days, and you did an okay job but nobody really cared or noticed
DaiglebahSystem: no
FinchWhatYouStarted: Well, since then, more or less
DaiglebahSystem: Wow you’ve been pregnant for four years?
FinchWhatYouStarted: it was God’s will, and on top of that I’ve got an extremely long torso.
FinchWhatYouStarted: So can you take me to the hospital, please? Sort of important
DaiglebahSystem: sure, just let me grab my /gets traded away to Florida
FinchWhatYouStarted: well sh*t
  **Online Host**
Welcome to The Dugout, the Official Chatroom of Major League Baseball!
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: are you f**ken gaytarded, super eights was literally the worse movie ive ever seen in my life, it was literally 2 hours of my life waisted
WordUpThome: IT WAS MAGICAL

pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: i have sit in the bullpen for two hours watchen oaklind play tamper bay an felt more fulfilled

it was literally a remake of the goonies but with sloth has a valve-faced spider monster

WordUpThome: NON-STOP THRILL RIDE, RIP-ROARING ENTERTAINMENTS
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: omfg i am going to stab you over this in real life
  **Online Host**
FinchWhatYouStarted has entered the chatroom.
FinchWhatYouStarted: hey guys, could somebody give me a lift to the hospital? I wouldn’t ask, but I only know baseball guys
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: im bouty bout to give this fat snowman a non-stop thrill-ride to the hospital if he don’t shut up about super eights
WordUpThome: DARE I SAY TWAS BETTER THAN THE FIRST SEVEN SUPERS
FinchWhatYouStarted: I’m serious, I’m having a baby.
WordUpThome: DER WHAT
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: dont worry i saw both fresh prince an zack morris perform this miracle act in a limo an elervator respectively
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: all you do is lay down an make a sh*tten face while i freak out for a tic until someone gives me the strenf i need to proceed
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: james
WordUpThome: DON’T WORRY KYLE YOU CAN DO THIS
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: thnx

pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: then i say BREATHE an you breathe some an then i say I CAN SEE THE HEAD an then JUST ONE MORE PUSH JENNIE C’MON YOU GOT IT JUST PUSH an then you push, an in like four minutes you’ve completed your labors an are the proud mother of a large, completely clean caucasian baby man or girl

whom you then name kyle farnsworth II

WordUpThome: GREAT JOB EVERYBODY
FinchWhatYouStarted: nope, still having a baby
WordUpThome: HAVE YOU THOUGHTS ABOUT WHAT THE BABE WILL BE CALLED
FinchWhatYouStarted: no … but we named our first son "Ace"
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: after how chris farley says ass in billy madison
FinchWhatYouStarted: No, after pitching

pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: oh sure

wait what

how the f**k do you be a ace at pitching

WordUpThome: JOKES
FinchWhatYouStarted: Casey mentioned wanting to name our first four sons "Ace", so we could have a baseball dynasty
WordUpThome: OR A GREAT HAND IN ‘GO AND FISH’
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: thats how the braves did it, when i playt in atlanter i saw video film of bobby cox personally vajjin’ out steve avery
FinchWhatYouStarted: I’m open to suggestions for names, though. I was thinking about "Pitcher Baseball Daigle"
WordUpThome: HMMM HOW ABOUT JI
WordUpThome: JIM
FinchWhatYouStarted: That’s a little too conventional for us. Anything else?
WordUpThome: NO THAT IS ALL I AM NOW COMPLETELY OUT OF IDEARS
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: i think the best name for boys is just nouns, like ‘stone’, but not stone, i have that copywrighten all rights reserved an i will sue u like an erant pig
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: but something like ‘dirt’ or ‘scone’
FinchWhatYouStarted: no
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: handlebar
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: paper bag
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: paper bag daigle. hot dog
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: masters of the universe complete series dvd daigle
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: uhhhh, board
FinchWhatYouStarted: Board? You seriously want me to name my child Board
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: it’ll prapare him for a life of haven to watch softball
FinchWhatYouStarted: Jim, can you please drive me to the hospital? I’m going to die.
WordUpThome: I’M AFRAID I NO LONGER FIT INTO CARS
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: i’ll powerslide you there in style in my sidecar’d motor-style cycle if you swear to Lord to name your son after a bigsexy kevin nash professional wrestling persona
FinchWhatYouStarted: oh god, what are those
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: oz daigle
FinchWhatYouStarted: no!
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: master blaster steel
FinchWhatYouStarted: NO!
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: vinnie vegas, posibly vincent vegas daigle, i dunno that sounds pretty cool i could see someone killen cerberus with a name like that
FinchWhatYouStarted: what is happening
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: DIESEL
FinchWhatYouStarted: okay fine whatever let’s go
Photos link to player info. WordUpThome.com


TOPICS#MLB
TAGSBaseballCASEY DAIGLECELEBRITY BABY NAMESDIESEL DEAN DAIGLEJENNIE FINCHJIM THOMEKEVIN NASHKYLE FARNSWORTHSOFTBALLSUPER 8 WAS A GOOD MOVIETHE DUGOUT

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