2007-2008: Life After Biel
For every Hollywood story, there’s a conflict. Jeter’s conflict occurred here. On the field, Jeter’s numbers were still as solid as ever. But the Yankees weren’t winning championships and you could argue that Jeter’s title as the Most Admirable Man in the World ended here as well. After splitting with Biel and attracting the ire of every man who could shake a fist and scream, “How could you!” Jeter’s biggest romantic escapade of 2007 involved a threesome in his South Beach hotel suite with two random girls that he kicked out at sunrise. I know, that’s when I forgave him, too.
In 2008, Jeter was once again linked to another Tiger Woods love interest, as it was rumored that he was dating NYC party girl Rachel Uchitel, who would eventually go on to destroy Woods’ reputation as his primary mistress. At least Jeter might have got to her first. Still – gross, dude. Even worse, rumors circulated that Jeter had given Alba herpes years earlier, which led to the creation of the image above. The armor had been pierced, but Jeter was fine.
2009-Present: Damn This Guy is Good
Guys like George Clooney and Leonardo DiCaprio, they do it right. Become a star, make the money, date the women, but don’t get married and give it all away until you’re either ready to settle down or you know the light has faded. For an actor, maybe that day never comes. But for an athlete, that day usually comes in the mid-30s. In 2009, then-35-year-old Jeter stopped the personal life skid with skanks and skeezies by locking up Friday Night Lights actress Minka Kelly. They became engaged in 2010, and once again men around the world looked at Jeter and though, “My God, he has it made.”
As the 2011 MLB All-Star Game takes place tonight in Phoenix, league officials are upset with Jeter for not attending the festivities in the wake of his 3,000th hit. He claims it’s because he’s exhausted from the hype around his 3,000th hit. I claim it’s because he’s Derek Jeter. And he can do whatever the f*ck he wants.
*** DISCLAIMER: This timeline is not proposed to be completely accurate and has been pieced together from previous articles on sites like ESPN, Hotel Chatter, Famous Hookups, Who’s Dated Who, Jezebel, Coed Magazine and Think Squad. While some of these tales could be false, they still don’t change the fact that Jeter is the man.