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Meme Watch: Completely Naive And Oblivious College Freshman Bro

Putting Jalen Rose In Jail

By / 07.27.11

I wanted to give this update a more clever title, but the next 250 stories you read about Jalen Rose serving 20 days in jail for his drunk driving arrest are going to be called JAILIN’ ROSE, and I mean come on, how much better can you get than that? Parenting advice: If you want to keep your son out of prison, don’t put “jail” in his name.

From the Detroit Free Press:

Judge Kimberly Small, known for her tough stance on drunken driving, ordered the former NBA player and University of Michigan basketball star to serve 93 days in jail, but she suspended all but 20 of those days.

Small, during a 40-minute sentencing hearing in 48th District Court in Bloomfield Township, told Rose: “You’re not here because you drank. I have no problem with that. Have at it. I do mind when you get behind the wheel of a two-ton vehicle and use it as a weapon against the rest of us.”

Keith Davidson, Rose’s California-based attorney, made sure to explain that driving drunk was No Big D as soon as the sentence was announced. Also, he’s a lawyer who quotes Gorilla Monsoon.

“We have two crimes here … what my client did, and what happened here today,” he said. “What we have is an elected judge legislating from the bench. What we saw today was a miscarriage of justice.”

A miscarriage of justice. He should’ve responded with “WILL YOU STOP?” as soon as she finished talking.

Of course, who knows where this will go now. If I have a crack in my windshield I’m legally required to spend two weeks in court and eight months in jail, but then again, I don’t work for ESPN. As a public figure I guess it’s impossible to look at things objectively from either side. From my side it’s, “he got arrested for drunk driving”. From Jalen’s side it’s, “Nobody famous ever pays for this, why should I?” Or the more reasonable one, “I’m sorry and I won’t ever do this again, I promise”. I guess both sides have a point. Although one side drove drunk, so f**k one of the sides.


TAGSBASKETBALLDRUNK DRIVINGESPNJALEN ROSENBAprison

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