Best, But Secretly Worst: Summerslam ’92
So Casey Anthony is in the news today, have you seen this, have you heard about this
I’m kidding. No, Summerslam ’92 was the Lugz Boot Of The Night or whatever in remembrance of the fantastic Bret Hart and Davey Boy Smith Intercontinental Title Match in front of 80,000 people at Wembley Stadium. Quick, tell me what happened on the rest of that show. Give up? Let me give you a quick Best and Worst of Summerslam 92.
Worst: Nails vs. Virgil (and it ends with a SLEEPER HOLD), Crush vs. Repo Man on pay-pre-view, Macho Man losing to Warrior by countout at the THIRTY FREAKING MINUTE MARK, a Rick Martel double count-out, a Kamala disqualification and Jesus Christ, the Beverly Brothers.
Best: Repo Man’s amazing entrance theme. Also the Legion of Doom vs. Money Inc., but even that is sort of a “worst” because it’s the WWF version of the Road Warriors, and the WWF version of anything not native to the WWF is a little worse.
That “one match show” phenomenon is real, and it lives at Summerslam.
Best: El Demonio
Rey Mysterio’s Gene Simmons-inspired mask is a huge Best for this week, and the best use of KISS in pro wrestling since they played for four hours on a two hour Nitro, leading to Dale Torborg literally killing The Wall with a chokeslam during the “Special Main Event” at WCW: Sloth or whatever. I don’t know, those last few years of WCW are starting to run together.
The only thing that would’ve made it better is red mist from Rey. We’ve seen him spit mist before, so why not? Also great would’ve been Rey ascending to the rafters to play “God of Thunder”.
Best: Dolph Ziggler is Still Rad
You know what makes Dolph Ziggler one of the best pro wrestlers in the world? A sense of urgency. It’s important in food service, and it’s important here. When he moves, he looks like he’s trying to get the jump on his opponent. How few people actually do that? He doesn’t waste a lot of movement when he goes for stuff, which is what makes his wacky Mr. Perfect bumping so great — it’s nothing BUT wasted movement. He’s like a Punch-Out character, doing his crisp, choreographed mannerisms until you uppercut him, and then he just flops around freaking out. That’s great.
Compare and contrast him with somebody like Test. Test never once moved with purpose in his life. Even when he was fighting for the dainty love of pre-Crisis Stephanie McMahon, his clothesliens always started with a grimace and a stutter-step that might as well have been a flashing neon sign reading OKAY NOW IT’S TIME FOR THE CLOTHESLINE.
Best: Increased Lack of Backstage Walking
I expected the show to be all-in, balls-out crazy following the events of Money in the Bank, and at first the laid back, evenly-paced nature of the show put me off. Then I realized that we were only going backstage for establishing shots of Vince and some quickie interviews with Josh Mathews and that made my heart grow three sizes.
I’ve never understood why wrestlers allow cameras to follow them around for no reason and sort of long for the day when guys who wanted to talk had to sign up for allotted time and wander out to that powder blue backdrop to talk to Bob Caudle. And the Horsemen paid a cameraman to follow them out into the parking lot because they wanted everyone to see them break Dusty Rhodes’ hand.