Best: The Best Money in the Bank Match Ever?
I don’t normally remember entire Money in the Bank matches, even the aforementioned one from Wrestlemania 24 I love. I remember Punk winning, I remember John Morrison doing a backflip while holding a ladder, I remember Shelton Benjamin dying and Carlito’s funny face about it. I remember Matt Hardy showing up and thinking it was the start of something important (lol). I don’t remember the actual flow of the match, though.
Other Money in the Bank matches are worse. Literally all I remember about Wrestlemania 25’s match is the Shelton Benjamin suicide fall. On last night’s show when Michael Cole was talking about how Kane won last year and cashed in on the same night I went “oh, yeah. Wait, did that happen?”
That said, I loved the Raw MITB match from last night. It seemed like an actual fun match on top of being a collection of ladder spots, and even the inevitable “let’s stand around and arrange structures” stuff was kept to a minimum. I wish they’d introduce the concept of ring boys to WWE, so each wrestler could have a student or two running around setting up ladders according to previous instruction and the wrestlers could do the wrestling without the illogical stalling. Hey Swagger, if you have enough time to set up an elaborate ladder bridge between the ladder and the ropes, you probably had time to climb up it and grab a damn briefcase.
Worst: Miz Gets Cornette’d
A recurring point in my Best and Worst of Raw column is the theory that Miz hasn’t recovered from his Wrestlemania concussion and has been working hurt, which explains his decline in wrestling and speaking quality. I honestly think his brain is still swirly.
Last night he got to briefly hang on a swinging hook and fall eight-ish feet to the ground and jack up his knee. It reminded me of Jim Cornette hanging on the underside of a scaffold and breaking the lower half of his body on the fall. It was unfortunate and I’m not sure what they were going for, and it led directly to this:
Best, But Worst: The Miz Returns
Miz showed up out of nowhere late in the match to climb the ladder with one leg and got a MASSIVE reaction for it, and while it was extremely gutsy and Foley-esque of him, it just furthers my theory that the guy loves wrestling so much he won’t sit the f**k down when he’s injured. If he blows out his knee, he’s still going to try to be the focus of a garbage tornado. If he damages his brain, he’s still going to try to cut promos from the top of a ladder when he should be drinking apple juice out of a sippy box and watching daytime judge shows.
I love you, Mike. You’re my OH-bro. But please, if you get hurt, take a little time to get better. You’re a former WWE Champion, they’re going to keep you around for years before the sh*tcan you for nothing.
Best: Del Rio Snatches Mysterio’s Wig
Alberto Del Rio needed to win Money in the Bank and Rey Mysterio was trying to hit him in the face with a briefcase, so he did what anyone in that situation should — he ripped off Mysterio’s mask and shoved him off the ladder. The dangerous see-saw thing that happened immediately after was a little disappointing, but not enough to ruin two major things:
1. It is Alberto Del Rio’s destiny to become WWE Champion, but you already know that.
2. Rey Mysterio is a dummy for giving up a huge professional perk to protect an identity he’s already lost. Sure, in WWE terms he’s never been unmasked, but if I’m Rey Mysterio, I think I’d want to punch Del Rio in the mouth, grab the briefcase to get a guaranteed WWE Championship match of my choosing, THEN worry about my face. Or worst case scenario I punch Del Rio with a hand over my face. Priorities, Rey.