Worst: John Cena Vs. Rey Mysterio, in Theory
The announcement that this week we’d have a second WWE Championship match tonight featuring John Cena almost made me sigh and turn off my television. I’m a longstanding Cena apologist, but Jesus, what sense does it make for Triple H, a guy who (as far as I know) has no special love for John Cena, to put Cena in a championship match IMMEDIATELY against Rey Mysterio, a guy who (as far as I know) has never had an especially negative issue with Triple H OR John Cena? It doesn’t do Cena any favors because he’s getting a pity rematch against a four-foot tall 118 pound guy who wrestled twice last week and once already tonight. Also, he’s the guy who just LOST the WWE Championship and caused the CEO of the company to get fired because of his failures in a (more or less) clean, one-on-one match. It doesn’t do Mysterio any favors because he’s put himself through three matches to win the thing only to be bitched out of the ring by Vince McMahon last week and pointlessly shuffled into a match against Caucasian Machine this week. It makes HHH look like he’s just going by what he’s seen on old Raws, and makes him look like he doesn’t understand or respect the wrestlers or what they’re going through. It also retroactively makes Vince look pointless, because he not only lost the WWE Championship, he set up a title tournament to reestablish it and immediately had his plans whited out. Nobody looks good, and nobody expects Rey Mysterio, much less a Dino Damanged Rey Mysterio, to beat John Cena. Ever.
Couldn’t they have at least announced it for next week?
Best: John Cena Vs. Rey Mysterio, in Practice
I thought the actual match between Cena and Mysterio was phenomenal. Okay, “phenomenal” might be pushing it, but I thought it was the best in a string of good television matches we’ve been having lately, and that’s a great step forward. The thing that made me like it the most is how Mysterio and Cena played off of each other’s signature moves. For example, when Cena hits the first shoulderblock, the only thing he ever does is 1) hit or 2) miss the second shoulderblock. If he hits it, he continues on with his animation, and if he misses it he does that hilarious leaping Ghostbusters dog thing I love. Mysterio switched it up by dropkicking him in the middle of it. Then, when Mysterio went for something jumpy and flippy, Cena just powered him around right into the Protobomb. It’s the same moves we’re used to seeing, but used organically. How easy is that? And Cena even brought back his crummy Emerald Flowsion. Now we just need to him to break out the Throwback and we’ll have every move I’ve ever seen him do in one match.
There were other, little things. Mysterio taking Cena’s I LOVE DOING THIS flying legdrop as a legdrop instead of a Fame-asser. Mysterio using two specials to steal the STF in a moment that made me go OH! OHHH! at my television. Cena channeling Hernandez and trying to put Rey in the hospital with a sloppy ass Border Toss. It was the kind of match I’ll look back on at the end of the year and be able to actually remember. You know, even if it was completely meaningless
Best: Oh, and CM Punk Showed Up
I should probably start a new page for this. Hold on.