Remember when Donald Trump decided that being born in Hawaii didn’t make you a U.S. citizen and spent months trying to get Barack Obama to show everybody his birth certificate? Remember how stupid that made everybody feel about everything? Obama finally shows everybody a birth certificate, but it isn’t authentic enough. So it gets authenticated, but it isn’t printed on nice enough paper, and then the paper is nice enough but it was bought at an Office Max outside of Washington D.C. and that is unpatriotic, and it just keeps going and going because nobody really cares where Obama was born, they just don’t like him and have to have a sh*t-talking point.
Yeah, that’s exactly what basketball needed.
“He wasn’t born and raised in L.A,” [Milwaukee Bucks guard Brandon] Jennings told ESPN the Magazine’s Chris Palmer regarding [Kobe] Bryant, who attended Lower Merion near Philadelphia. “You gotta be from L.A. for Drew. Show me a birth certificate.”
Brandon Jennings hates Kobe Bryant. Nobody is really sure why, or if he’s just kidding or what. If Kobe Bryant agrees to play in the Drew League-Goodman League rematch, thousands of people from L.A. will show up to see him, and everyone from Commissioner Oris “Dino” Smiley all the way down to the Chinese kid who is secretly Kobe’s nephew will love it. Everyone except Jennings, of course, who is the type of guy to post passive-aggressive pictures of himself wearing novelty t-shirts (like the one pictured right) on the Internet. And yeah, Kobe is from Philadelphia, but he’s been synonymous with Los Angeles since 1996. He’s 33 years old and has spent the last 16 in L.A. How long do you have to live somewhere and how much do you have to contribute before you’re “from” there?
And while you’re contemplating whether or not letting a resident of nearly two decades in compromises the integrity of a glorified rec league, consider what Jennings used to say when someone brought up Kobe.
“The [Lakers] got the best player in the game right now, Kobe Bryant, hands down,” Jennings said. “The guys has five rings and won two of them without Shaq. The man is the best player in the league.”
I think the most important question is this: how can we use this to call the Miami Heat the Tea Party?
[h/t Los Angeles Times]