David Stern Is Doing Just Fine

NBA Commissioner David Stern and his band of 30 starving owners locked the players out on July 1 because they make too much money. The owners want the average NBA player’s salary to be reduced from its current $5 million mark, and they also want the players to sign shorter, non-guaranteed contracts so they have the right to kick them to the curb when they start sucking *COUGH GILBERT ARENAS COUGH*. But I digress.

It’s ironic that Stern is asking players to take a pay cut under the reasoning that 22 teams are losing money and the league is buried in the red, because Stern makes at least twice as much as the average player. And now the players are raising eyebrows and their voices about this double standard.

Settle down, Spencer. Stern doesn’t make $23 million, at least not in one season. He might, but the league denies it. Originally, it was reported that Stern made that much money, which is $2 million less than what Kobe Bryant makes in a year, but other reports have him making between $10 and $15 million. The fact is that nobody knows what Stern makes. We have a better chance of seeing nude pics of Mother Theresa.

But Stern, that lovable icon of generosity and fairness, is not paying himself a salary while the lockout is going on. Sure, he’ll pay himself all that missed money when the league eventually resumes (in a year or so), but for now, he’s rolling up the sleeves on his blue collar shirt and showing that he’s one of us. Except he also has a sweet Terror Squad chain.

(Rucker park image via SLAM Online.)

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