'Real Housewives' Husband Commits Suicide
Kate Beckinsale is naked sorta!

She Won’t Marry You, But She Thanks You For Being A Friend

By / 08.18.11

Heartbreaking tale of love and loss featuring two of America’s favorite senior citizens.

Shaquille O’Neal is going to have the best retirement. He’s completing a Filmmaking Conservatory at the New York Film Academy (at Universal Studios), he’s going to end up professionally wrestling somebody at somebody’s Wrestlemania and he’s filming Tim And Eric-style comedy vignettes about wanting to marry Betty White. In the video above, Shaq hangs with the legendary lady of comedy by making Jim Halpert face at the camera while she tries to act and be funny. That’s what’s so great about Shaq, he’s got rap albums and video games and movies and television shows and none of them are any GOOD, but he’s got the all, and he’s going to keep making more. Look at that face.

Maybe this is is the video they were talking about when TMZ said Shaq had a sex tape and was being blackmailed. It doesn’t go any farther than this, you understand, because Rose’s husband Charlie died while they were making love and she’s been having trouble showing intimacy in the bedroom ever since. When the sex tape ends it’s followed by two episodes of “Shop ’till You Drop”

The logistics of Shaq marrying and assumedly consummating said marriage are the stuff of Snickers nightmares, but should they ever get together I would like to provide my best Golden Girls-themed advice, courtesy of the late, great Dorothy Zbornak.

[h/t Sportress]


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