Yesterday, when I suggested that Orlando Magic guard Gilbert Arenas should or at least could become the face of the NBA players’ resistance to the accusations that they’re to blame for the terrible contracts the owners gave them, I really wanted to throw together a sampler of his ridiculously stupid, T-shirt Hell-esque Twitter avatars that usually feature corny phrases like “Let’s play GI Joe – I’ll lay down and you blow the hell out of me.” But when I checked Arenas’ Twitter, something was awry.
For some reason, Arenas had deleted all of his Tweets, and it may or may not have had something to do with a little feud he had with stand-up comic Joe Mande yesterday. On his blog, Mande actually featured a collection of Arenas’ Twitter avatars, along with a pretty harsh takedown of the 29-year old guard and his suddenly disappearing Twitter.
My guess is, Gilbert got a call from his agent sometime this weekend, who said, “Hey Gil, would you mind deleting that tweet you wrote about how you kick women out of your bed when you’re done having sex with them? And the other one about how you want those women to drive themselves home after you’re done having sex with them, even if they might be drunk, because you’re too busy sleeping alone in your king size bed? Oh, and also the one about the box of stolen female toiletries you keep in your bathroom? Actually… just delete all the tweets you’ve ever written ever. Is that cool? Thanks, buddy.”
Mande also points out the obvious, that Arenas was suspended for a season for having guns in his Washington Wizards locker room. For good measure, I’ll add that Arenas may be the only player I can think of to have been served child support papers during a game. But that doesn’t seem to stop Arenas from treating Twitter like his own Adult Friend Finder.
Someone brought Mande’s essay on Arenas’ immaturity to Agent Zero’s attention and it resulted in a fun little feud between the guy who charges $5 to perform as a standup comedian and the guy who gets paid $20 million per season to pretend to be a comedian. Ultimately, Arenas quit Twitter. Again. I miss him already.