The Professional Wrestling Divas Guide To Fantasy Football Tight Ends

By: 08.10.11  •  11 Comments

The Tammy Lynn Sytches

Wrestling used to have lower standards. I always have.

Years ago when I was a handsome but brash college sophomore, some friends and I took a trip to Kissimmee to check out the ECW in its early days. After the show, which included me throwing a bicycle pump into the ring for Sandman, we sat next to Sunny and Chris Candido at a Waffle House. She seemed pretty cool. I guess if there’s a point here, it’s that we probably remember her as being more attractive than she was, so we still carry a torch. Like these guys as late round picks. I know, it doesn’t make sense. It doesn’t have to.

18) Heath Miller – He’s apparently going to be mixing it up as a wide receiver this season. I have no clue what that means other than he’s not a dependable TE.

19) Marcedes Lewis – The Jags’ offense is a mess, otherwise I would probably have him higher. But even if Garrard was healthy, I still wouldn’t draft him.

20) Greg Olsen – He was ousted from Mike Martz’s “I hate Tight Ends” offense and landed in Carolina’s TE-happy schemes. Could be an interesting development. It also could be a surefire way to get 0 points each week. Either way, it’s giving me great material for NotJayCutler this season.

21) Anthony Fasano – I really wanted the Dolphins to get Zach Miller, since “Check Down” Chad Henne loves throwing to the Plan B receivers. Fasano gets some looks but I don’t really want any Dolphin not named Brandon Marshall in my starting lineup. And even then…

22) Aaron Hernandez – I said earlier that I prefer Gronk, but Hernandez will get his touches, too. The Pats love mixing their TE’s in, but they’re both going to be inconsistent in fantasy scoring.

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