6. Seattle Seahawks (1-2) – Cheap win No. 1 has been checked off. I’m sure Pete Carroll would love to have Luck, but he hasn’t even tried trading a second round pick for Matt Leinart yet. I assume that is coming soon.
7. Jacksonville Jaguars (1-2) – Poor Blaine Gabbert. He is the inspiration for my long-standing belief that no rookie QB should start. I’m not saying it should be a league rule, but GMs and coaches should given a DVD of Aaron Rodgers’ career every time they select a QB in the first round.
8. Arizona Cardinals (1-2) – When the Cardinals made the deal for Kevin Kolb, did they not ever stop and ask, “Could we throw in a draft pick to grab Asante Samuel from you, too?” Good to see the Bidwell family is still ass backwards.
9. Denver Broncos (1-2) – I wish John Fox would just start Tim Tebow already. If he sucks, Fox gets a big “I told you so, now let me do my job” and if he’s good, Fox just has to eat a little crow, as opposed to an entire feast down the road.
10. Cincinnati Bengals (1-2) – Carson Palmer was tailgating and boozing it up at USC this weekend. He’s clearly a man determined to play in the NFL again.
11. Carolina Panthers (1-2) – Where were you when the world experienced Cam Newton’s first victory? I was over there, not giving a crap.
12. Chicago Bears (1-2) – Jay Cutler follows (and likes) Not Jay Cutler. I hate that I’m really starting to like the guy.
13. Atlanta Falcons (1-2) – I’m still not ready to give Josh Freeman and the Buccaneers any credit, so how the hell do the Falcons look this bad? Matt Ryan is giving us all we could ever hope for in a season without a Peyton Manning face.
14. Philadelphia Eagles (1-2) – Mike Vick is out 3-4 weeks and he blames the refs for not protecting him when he is known for running all over the place, which therefore makes it hard to “protect” him. At least he didn’t play the race card or anything. Also, if I’m an Eagles fan, I’m thinking Vince Young would make a nice battery target for his Dream Team comment.
15. Dallas Cowboys (1-1)* – Here’s where I make my bold Monday Night Football prediction (I was oh so wrong last week) and I think that wounded deer Tony Romo will lose to the Redskins. This is also where I make my inappropriate fantasy football plea of the week – would it kill Felix Jones to score? You’re killing me, man.