16. Tennessee Titans (2-1) – Kenny Britt is out for the season with a torn ACL and MCL, after spending the preseason with a bad hamstring. Britt was seemingly the fantasy football wide receiver value pick of the year before this happened, so this sucks double hard.
17. Cleveland Browns (2-1) – Cleveland has wins over Miami and Indianapolis, which makes the Browns this week’s official “Team That Should Be Ranked In The Top 5 But Instead Owes Whoever Does The League Scheduling A Blumpkin.”
18. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (2-1) – I reiterate last week’s point – Bucs fans do not trust Josh Freeman. How this guy keeps winning is so far beyond me.
19. San Francisco 49ers (2-1) – If Alex Smith is the ultimate benefactor of playing against the sh*tty NFC West teams, then I will never again try to understand football franchise operations.
20. Washington Redskins (2-0)* – Again, I am picking the Redskins to win tonight, so I apologize in advance to our DC readers for this kiss of death. During the preseason, my one Redskins friend would constantly scream about how he wanted to murder Mike Shanahan. Now I’m pretty sure he’d be the little spoon. Funny how winning changes the heart.
21. New York Giants (2-1) – Last week, my buddy and I talked about how Victor Cruz was THE guy to grab off waivers over and over. We recalled his solid preseason performances and agreed that he could be that Miles Austin/Chad Johnson receiver that pops up out of nowhere. And neither of us picked him up. Because we’re idiots, you see.
22. San Diego Chargers (2-1) – I don’t know why I cheer against the Chargers so much. Then someone points at Philip Rivers and I say, “Oh yeah.”
23. Pittsburgh Steelers (2-1) – Mike Wallace may be my favorite wide receiver in the NFL to watch. It used to be Larry Fitzgerald, but the Cardinals don’t ever want to put a solid supporting cast around him again, so it’s Wallace and his pointy hair now.
24. New York Jets (2-1) – I’m not too young (somewhere within the key demographic of white males, ages 18-49) but I still can’t watch a grown man have his broken nose reset without cringing. With that said, I want a GIF of Mark Sanchez’s busted grill immediately.
25. Oakland Raiders (2-1) – My strange sense of hype for the Raiders’ surprise success continues to grow, but only because I’m afraid I’ll be stabbed if I don’t like them.