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The Dugout: Greatest Night

By / 09.29.11

Today at With Leather and across the sports-o-sphere has been a celebration of the “greatest night in baseball history”. If you aren’t up to speed, you can check out some of the amazing statistics or take a look at the emotional faces of men who both played in and watched the games.

The Tampa Bay Rays are going to the playoffs, and that works out well for The Dugout — that be-goggled gentleman in the photo is Kyle Farnsworth, relief pitcher and folk hero of the Official Chatroom For Major League Baseball. He pitched nearly a full inning against New York’s Scott Proctor, and if you’re a Dugout historian (and I know you are) you’ll know important that is to our epic, long-term storytelling.

Regardless, please enjoy today’s Dugout, which is technically the first in our semi-annual, semi-daily recapping of the MLB playoffs. (And drop us a comment, would you?)

The Dugout

 

** Online Host **
Welcome to the Tropicana Field Chatroom!

 
DoctorProctor: Here we are in the bottom of the 10th — Yankees Rays, with playoff fates hanging in the balance.  
DoctorProctor: It is the true definition of baseball excitement and is shaping up to be one of the greatest nights in history, and after all this time in chat together, who does it come down to?  
DoctorProctor: Scott Proctor and Kyle Farnsworth. Former teammates, former best friends, now locked in a battle of nerves and skill, sweat and bone.  
DoctorProctor: Don’t you think that’s just … amazing??  
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: no

i am at this precipiece Literally every day

 
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: did u see when don johnson hit a homerun straight into a chump’s nuts-sack  
DoctorProctor: …no?  
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: brb  
 

**Online Host**
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth wants to directly connect.

**Online Host**
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth is now directly connected.

 

pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: /

 

pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: if you look closeally you can see it bounts off his foul pole

spider-man-sense lines added for rob liefeldesque impact

 
DoctorProctor: Well, that’s the last home run the "Bronx Bombers" are giving up tonight! We’re gonna win this game!  

pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: watch the video u can see the duder huncht over like "ohhhh shiit"

i’d embed it but baseball.com doesn’t let me

 
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: probly cause the only person allowd "embed" with major league baseball is BIG BUISNESS  

pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: am i right

up high

 
DoctorProctor: Could we have this conversation later? I’m tring to strike out José Lobatón.  

pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: lobaton

that’s easy just underhand it a lot

 
 

** Online Host **
José Lobatón has struck out looking.

 

DoctorProctor: whew, got him

Say, shouldn’t you be keeping warm? After I strike out Johnny Damon with my patented "baseball" it’ll be your turn to pitch again!

 

pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: no im on a strick four pitch liment

it only took 5 guys for me to strike out the side i am p. much done for teh year

 

DoctorProctor: are you serious

This is the most exciting night in baseball history, Kyle! You’ve got to stay in there and pitch!

 

pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: "most exciten night in baseball history" what’re you a virgin blogger, 45 goodish minutes dont suddenly make baseball exciten, scott, it is boring as f**k an you an i know it

most exciten night in baseball history

go blog about you’re are mom’s basement

 
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: im gonna change into my worlt series combat goggles an iPad the f**k outta some The Pretty Reckless  

DoctorProctor: okay :(

How are they?

 
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: i would say fairly reckless  
DoctorProctor: May the best team win!  

pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: the best team would not have scott proctor on it your f**ken terrible have you not rullized this since 2004

imma start pooring asti spumanti down the curve a my jock an splashen folks with powerful hip thrusts, PEACE

 
  ** Online Host **
Welcome to the Bottom Of the 12th Inning at Tropicana Field Chatroom!
 
DoctorProctor: /why is scott proctor still pitching  
EvanAlmighty: /hits ball like it stole something  
  ** Online Host **

EvanAlmighty has hit a home run. The Tampa Bay Rays have defeated the New York Yankees 8-7.
 

pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: /

 

pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: YEAH WHAT NOW SUCK MY JIM THOME CAPITAL LETTERS NEW YORK YANKEES WE ARE IN THE PLAYOFFS AN U BOUT TO GET PLAYED OFF

CAPITAL LETTERRSSSS

HOLY SH*T LOOK AT MY PANTS

 
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: /thrusts hips  
EvanAlmighty: hey, watch it  
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: YEAHHHHH BLEERRGGGGGGHHHHHHHH /smashes six pack of Miller Light against goggles, tries to drown Sam Fuld  
WontGetFuldAgain: glarg glarg  
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: MY ARMS ARE F**KEN WEIRD LOOKEN GO RAYS GO YOU F**KEN RAYSSS /smashes bottle of wine over Reid Brignac’s head  
BrignacPaddywhack: /collapses  

pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: SUCK IT SCOTT TASTE THE YELLOWISH-GREEN DISCHARGE OF FAILURE, HOW DOES IT TASTE SCOTT HOW DOES THIS VILE PUTRID OFFAL TASTE IN YOUR MOUTH

DOES IT TASTE LIKE ARBYS

 
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: DOES MY DYACK TASTE LIKE BRONCOBERRIE SAUCE SCOTT /thrusts hips  
DoctorProctor: Are you serious? The Yankees finished 32 games over .500. We clinched the AL East in like, February.  
DoctorProctor: We’re BOTH going to the playoffs! And we might even PLAY each other again! Won’t that be great??  

pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: ugh no

i put on my emasculaten goggles for nothin

 
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: what happent to the greatest night in base balls history, who did we even beat  
DoctorProctor: The Red Sox, maybe!  
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: oh  
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: well thats good i guess  
DoctorProctor: Check your iPad! See what the score is!  

pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: i broke it in half poured boones farm in its insides and taped it back together in ecstacy

i should pay more attention to base ball

 
  ** Online Host **
Meanwhile, in the Oriole Park At Camden Yards Chatroom …
 
FredFlintstoneAndino: /singles to left  
FranconaBun: /throws up hands  
RedSoxFans: /gave up a month ago  
Photos link to player info. WordUpThome.com

TOPICS#MLB
TAGSBALTIMORE ORIOLESBaseballboston red soxEVAN LONGORIAKYLE FARNSWORTHMLB PLAYOFFSNEW YORK YANKEESPOPPIN CHAMPAGNEREID BRIGNACROBERT ANDINOSCOTT PROCTORTAMPA BAY RAYSTERRY FRANCONATHE DUGOUT

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