Somebody Bring Him Some Hammmmmm!

I imagine that at this point on a Friday afternoon, like me, you’re all holed up in an Atlanta hotel with the Georgia Tech football team, rifling through a wedding goody bag, and watching the Madrid Open. But in case you’re not that cool, you may have missed one golfer win what I and lonely Wisconsin women are calling the greatest prize in the history of anything.

Scotland’s Elliot Saltman not only sunk a hole-in-one, but for doing so he won a lifetime supply of ham. He better butter that bacon.

Saltman made the shot from the par-3 third hole at El Encin Golf Hotel. Heavily cured and salted ham is a Spanish delicacy.

“I’ve been trying to lose weight, but now I’m thinking I should have just kept it,” Saltman said.

Despite the feat, the No. 686-ranked player is well off the leaders’ pace. After two rounds, he was 3 over and 14 shots behind clubhouse leader Lee Slattery of England.

(Via Philly Burbs)

Yeah, well you know what? Slattery can suck it. Because at the end of the day, while Slattery will be closer to winning a large cash prize, trophy, and the respect of his peers, he won’t have a LIFETIME SUPPLY OF HAM. The only thing that could make this greater would be if Saltman ate it while riding around on a poop-powered motorcycle. I think it’s clear that I have a very specific dream for my life.

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