Best: Jack Swagger ENDING Evan Bourne
The six-man tag team match, especially following last week’s 12-man tag team match that went longer and had more to it and starred more popular wrestlers, wasn’t anything special — but the best moment of the wrestling night happens about 35 seconds in, when Evan Bourne goes for his “jumping knee touch that shouldn’t really knock anybody down because that’s not how leverage works” thing and Jack Swagger (who has secretly become a BOSS again) murders him dead in the middle of the ring. It was got-dam PHENOMENAL. Swagger rolled with Sheamus in a clubber-fight last week and was the offensive star of this week, if you don’t count Dolph Ziggler throwing himself at the ground like he’s falling off a building for everything as offense.
The second best moment of the match was Mason Ryan being super slow, then getting EVEN SLOWER when he had to powerslam Ziggler into the corner, creating this wonderful little gentle Oklahoma Stampede. It actually made me go “hahaha awww” out loud. It looked like kids on GUTS trying to register the sirens on the AggroCrag. I hope when WWE ’12 comes out they’ve given Ryan a one in speed so he moves around like f**king Lester the Unlikely.
Secondary Best: Boom! Here Comes The Boom! Ready Or Not! Here Come The Boys From
Jamaica The South!
Air Boom got their own theme song, and it features guys playing rock music and yelling BOOM! every few seconds, just like the last 200 pay-per-view themes. It’s not a good song, but I’m glad they’re completing the transition. I also would’ve accepted this:
Worst: Mason Ryan, And Why CM Punk Is Full Of Sh*t
Remember back before Night Of Champions when CM Punk mentioned how “having the right look” and “being a bodybuilder” was the only way to get WWE to give you a push, and Triple H is all “oh what about bret hart what about shawn michaels shut up n00b” and everyone cheered? Well, CM Punk is Triple H’s friend and thinks people who stand for what they believe in are cowards, and nobody’s mentioning how Mason Ryan, a guy who looks like a living Ed McGuinness drawing, is getting put into high profile tag matches and pinning the United States Champion on the reg? Mason Ryan isn’t “getting over with these people”. He’s six-foot-four and full of muscles. You signed him because he looked good on the British American Gladiators. He is exactly as good and worthwhile as Brutus Magnus and he’s pinning the best wrestler you’ve got, the six-foot 210 pound guy who looks and moves like Shawn Michaels in his prime, every week.
How does this work again?
Best?: Still Pretty Excited For Brodus Clay
I want Michael Cole to deadpan “he is extremely fat and that helps him win matches” as soon as he walks through the curtain.