LOL Worst: Get Him To The Hospital After This Twix Commercial
Triple H was so badly injured that the paramedic put his hand over Triple H’s nose to make sure he was still breathing, but they waited through a four minute commercial break before driving him to the hospital. Good job, everybody. You couldn’t have put a “during the break” graphic on this?
Worst: Honestly I’m Starting To Miss The Twix Guys
Fun fact: People who pay for tickets to go see Raw in 2011 have never been to a Raw before. You know how I can tell? They get confused and restless when the arena goes pitch-black for five minutes at a time for commercial breaks and nothing happens. By the time Triple H’s ambulance was pulling away we’d been shown the “Moments Ago” footage of Nash’s attack FOUR DIFFERENT TIMES. You’d think they’d bring out, I don’t know, Kaitlyn and AJ with a t-shirt gun or had Maxine or whoever orchestrate an impromptu Kiss Cam to keep us busy, but nothing. We sat on our hands in dead silence, save for the kid who’d yell JOHN CENA matter of factly every two or three minutes no matter what was happening.
I’m well trained in this kind of boredom. The last Raw I’d attended before this one was the one where Shane McMahon beat up Legacy by himself through sheer power of will and little brother punches. That show had about fourteen seconds of wrestling and 45 minutes of Randy Orton slowly explaining psychological disease.
Worst: So Apparently I Missed Something About Twitter
When I hopped online this morning to read what people thought of the TV version of the show, I ran into a landslide of JESUS CHRIST HOW MANY TIMES ARE YOU GUYS GONNA MENTION TWITTER. Skimming through the torrent I see that the terrible TRENDING NOW graphic is back, and they’ve added in a tweet from most of the wrestlers during their entrance. I know this is sorta how the world works now and you’re living and dying by your social media presence (and not your ratings, thankfully), so allow me to reiterate what I mentioned in the Best And Worst Of WWE Vengeance 2011 report.
“Kevin Nash” is trending now. Okay, good. First of all, ask TNA how helpful trending topics have been. Second of all, do you really understand WHY Kevin Nash is trending? A lot of people use Twitter, and a lot of people are disinterested enough in your show to want to watch it, but have to multitask with something else to KEEP watching it. Getting something to trend is cool, I guess, I’ve never done it, but it doesn’t DO anything. You know what else is trending? “Happy birthday to the third most popular Jonas Brother, at least two years after their last adolescent pelvis thrust of relevancy”. Movie titles with the word “bacon” in them where other words should go. Jurassic Bacon! Jurassic Park with “bacon” instead of “park” is trending. Things that don’t exist. #puertoricanproblems. This is what you’re trending alongside.
Worry less about how many more Facebook likes you have than Apple, and worry more about how and why they’ve got so much more loyalty and money.
Worst: Yeah We’re Like An Hour In At This Point
Nothing is happening. In the middle of the third silent commercial break I decide to wander around to try to find some food and a bathroom, in no particular order. I’m a sucker for souvenir cups (I’ve got one from Yankee Stadium, Dodger Stadium, Kauffman Stadium and like fifteen faded ones from Progressive Field in my cabinet) but the ones at the Frank Erwin Center are just flimsy plastic Big Gulp cups with the Longhorns logo on the side and aren’t worth the extra 50 cents. Thank goodness the Super Pretzel is vegan, and that it can still be sold for six dollars when ice cold.
Worst: At Least The Guy In Front Of Me Is Enjoying The Show
He filmed the entire show on one device while recording segments to (I’m guessing) send to people with the other. It reminded me of when I was in the second row for Regina Spektor in Cleveland, and the only thing between me and her was the digital camera of the lady in front of me, taping the song, looking up at the screen. I don’t want to live on this planet anymore.