The Best And Worst Of WWE Raw 10/3: A Blog Of No Confidence

By: 10.04.11

Best: The Scut Farkus Affair

I was a little disappointed that Natalya and new Divas Champion Beth Phoenix had a tag team match and it was against Kelly Kelly and Eve instead of any other female wrestlers in the world (seriously, the ChickBusters were right there), but it quickly turned into a Best when Kelly Kelly tossed tag team wrestling out the window and went Full Ralphie on Beth. I think the inner self-loathing that was around when Kelly was an exhibitionist with an abusive boyfriend or part of a Sister Wives dance troupe controlled by The Miz bubbled to the surface, and seriously, watch it, she’s Ralphie. She’s the innocent little blonde bullied to the breaking point. Her punches even look like Ralphie’s. All it needed was Kelly yelling YOU ROTTEN NO-GOOD DAMN NOTHING while she bloodied her pinned-on mittens. The best part is that this makes Eve Randy. She should hide under the sink so Triple H doesn’t kill Kelly.

I’ve been in great defense of Kelly lately, and good decision or bad to have her snap like this, it’s the first legitimate moment of character development she’s had since she won the Divas Championship and cried about it. I also like that her hand was still cocked straight up in the air during her entrance, and hope she adopts a Dr. Strangelove thing where it has a mind of its own and just sticks itself up against her will.

Downside of all this: another Kelly vs. Beth match, when we should probably be moving on and giving other women a chance to be a thing.

Best: This Shot

That’s a solid art direction, and they didn’t even need a big sign over the ring to point to for the video packages.

Worst: Xenophobia! Yay!

Tell me if your brain was swimming in the same stream of consciousness as mine. The segment begins, and:

1. Jinder Mahal? Why is Jinder Mahal in the ring?
2. Santino’s back! Okay! Cool!
3. Oh good Santino’s gonna talk, this should be funny, I remember the time he accused Ray Mastrio of being “the Batman”
4. he’s speaking in jibberish to make fun of a foreign language
5. welp, now I remember why watching pro wrestling is supposed to be embarrassing
6. wait, the match is over

He used to be a stereotype, and now he’s making fun of stereotypes, so, uh, progress? No, I was incredibly sad to see them go in the Ching Chong Ching Chong Danny Devito, Ching Chong The View, Ching Chong with Santino, who might as well have told Jinder to “go back to Mexico” before beating him in 30 seconds. The bully (who really ought to try Being A Star) is more fun loving than the way too serious victim, so we like the bully more and he gets to win. WWE really learned the wrong thing from the Piggy James angle, didn’t they? They should just go all the way with it and have Santino walk up to Kelly Kelly, call her a cunt, slap her in the face and then explain his actions by doing the Cobra and making everybody cheer.

Best: More Fat Guys On Raw

Brodus Clay got a video package! NXT season 4 winner Brodus Clay! [citation needed]

Brodus not only getting a spot on Raw but a video package to put over his colossal fatness is a great decision for WWE, and a building block in my argument that somebody woke up and realized they could make money with Mark Henry and his Heavyweight Championship isn’t a reward for time served. Clay will be perfect in Viscera’s old role of a guy who is too big for Evan Bourne, but not good big enough for John Cena. Less arrogant hairless models, more seven-foot guys who look and act like Donkey Kong.

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