Worst: Justin Roberts Has Voted No Confidence
I don’t want to jump to any conclusions, but I think the problem with Triple H as C.O.O. is that when asked to organize a vote of confidence, he chooses to do it in the middle of a wrestling arena as the main event of a wrestling show he’s in charge of, invite every wrestling and employee out and make them stand outside of the ring while he stands IN the ring and literally talks down to them, then creates a situation where every person in WWE who is not Triple H gets booed by the crowd for not supporting Triple H, and then everybody leaves in shame while he stands in the ring and gets “YOU STILL GOT IT” chants and cheers. I think THAT might be the reason you aren’t the best guy to lead the company, Television Character Triple H. At least you’ve still got the hard camera operator on your side, and the people who run the spotlights.
There are a lot of “bests” about the Vote of Confidence segment, but this page is going to be nothing but worsts. Obviously “this segment happening at all” is a big one, especially after a show full of wrestling and a 30-minute six-man tag that got my blood pumping, and that backstage corporate minutia is probably not a great thing to do in front of an audience who can’t handle women having first and last names.
Worst: What Exactly Is Beth Phoenix Talking About
Speaking of, the worst Worst I’ve given since I started this column goes to Beth for her talking point of “we’re… we’re GIRLS! Something might HAPPEN to us!” with all the WWE Divas standing beside her nodding. In one swoop the WWE managed to bury the Divas, womens wrestling, and possibly the last 4,000 years of female development. It was the pro wrestling equivalent of Malibu Stacy saying “don’t ask me, I’m just a girl.” It was almost that VERBATIM.
And the worst part is that they never make it clear what she means. Do you mean the guys are going to hurt you? Was this not a problem when Stone Cold Steve Austin was offering Stacy a beer and Stunnering her for turning it down, or when Bubba Ray Dudley was powerbombing an old woman off the stage through a table, or when Trish Stratus was being made to strip and bark like a dog, or when two black guys stole Lita’s vibrator and sold it to the audience? Are they suggesting something worse? Is Beth Phoenix worried about getting raped? That’s horrible and not a joke, I am actually asking. They kept doing that “SOMETHING could happen… it COULD happen to us and I’m SCARED” thing that doesn’t translate to “Miz might show up and punch me”. You entered the Royal Rumble and eliminated the Great Khali, Beth, and now you’re worried about two fired guys who make apology YouTube videos?
This was terrible on every level, and the people who greenlit it should be ashamed of themselves.
Worst: Jerry Lawler Is Suffering From Anal Brain Bleeding
Jerry Lawler’s point of view is such: “There’s somebody trying to sabotage your position as COO, and none of this is your fault. They aren’t going to stop doing it, so you should no longer be COO. And now I’m leaving, for no raisin!”
Worst: What Happened Next, Or “He’s Got To Be Doing This On Purpose”
After the show went off the air, Triple H decided to pretend he was on the Santa Monica pier and draw a caricature of himself.
You say, “this happened after the cameras went off, it was just to send the fans home happy”. My first response is “how does the guy everyone just abandoned beating up the one guy who decides to support him send f**king anybody home happy”, and my second response is “if you film it and put it on WWE.com for everyone to see, it’s canon and part of the show”. Ryder’s going to show up on Z True Long Island Story and be all “derrrrrp, Triple H is the NO-ski of the week!” and nobody will address the very real sociological issues going on.
Worst: John Morrison Does What To My What Now
The back of John Morrison’s t-shirt says “We’re Gonna Eat Your Lunch”. On Twitter, he posted the following:
HHH’s ego is hungry. He’s got a steak dinner every Monday night- but if he thinks his ego’s gonna snack elsewhere; I’m gonna eat his lunch!
Can you put a catchphrase on a t-shirt if you’ve never said it on television? This is the worst wrestling shirt to not involve the penis since Roderick Strong put “In Roderick I Trust” on his logo instead of “In Rod We Trust” because he’s dumb as dirt. You’re gonna eat my lunch. Okay. Dolph Ziggler should come out with a shirt that says “I’M GONNA GO TO THE STORE”.
And Now: An Entire Page Of Little Bests From This Segment