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The NBA Makes Barack Obama Sad

By 10.12.11

"If I make this, everybody loves me!"


President Barack Obama paid a visit to my tiny modern Bethlehem of Orlando, Florida yesterday, which was a silly idea because I’m out of town and therefore can’t give him any advice. But apparently he was there for more than my wisdom, as he was raising funds for his upcoming campaign, and he called upon his good friend and Orlando Magic center Dwight Howard for some extra star muscle.

And of course when you’re in a room full of rich white people paying $250 a pop to kiss political butt, the topic is going to turn to the NBA. Obama recognized the audience’s love of basketball and expressed his own disappointment with the ongoing lockout.

I love you back. (Applause.) I do. Although I have to say that backstage I had the chance to see Dwight Howard — (applause) — and Dwight is a great friend, and I told him I’m a little heartbroken that the NBA season is getting delayed here. (Laughter.) So I’m hoping those guys are back on the court soon. In the meantime, I’m here because I need all of your help. I need your help. (Applause.)

(Via Business Insider)

I love the (Laughter) part after he admits that he’s heartbroken that the NBA season is being ripped to shreds. Somewhere David Stern was petting his puma while sitting on his throne of skulls and muttering, “Damn you, Obama, I’ll show you!”

Obama also spoke again at another fundraiser and the conversation turned to Howard and the NBA again.

“Now, the reason I came here is because I’m trying to resolve the NBA lockout. (Applause and laughter.) So I don’t know who I need to talk to. (Inaudible), I don’t know if you’ve got some clout or who it is, but we need our basketball. (Laughter.)”

Obama came to Orlando to solve the NBA lockout? Even when the season is happening, most people in Orlando don’t even realize it. He’d be better off asking people in Charlotte for help. But this whole thing leads me to two thoughts:

1) Where the hell has Dwight Howard been during this entire lockout? I know he went on a promotional tour and him and Gilbert Arenas did a lot of planking. He also went to Fashion Week, so he hasn’t been completely MIA. But I went through my folder of pictures from each of the negotiation meetings over the past three months and he just hasn’t been there. If I’m the rest of the league stars, I’m blowing this guy’s phone up.

2) The U.S. government, specifically Congress, has time to get involved in the BCS debate, performance-enhancing drugs in baseball, and HGH testing in the NFL. Isn’t it kind of strange that politicians don’t even bat an eyelash when something is wrong with the NBA? I know, we’re all thinking it… they’re lazy.


TOPICS#NBA
TAGS2011 NBA LOCKOUTBARACK OBAMABASKETBALLDWIGHT HOWARDKEEP YOUR POLITICS OUT OF MY SPORTS

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