Sweet Baby Jesus, Rachel Uchitel Is Breeding

Back in October, we were treated to a second Valentine’s Day when Rachel Uchitel married the love of her life at the same chapel in Las Vegas that united Britney Spears and Jason Alexander in their neverending holy matrimony. Uchitel, who is of course Tiger Woods’ most famous mistress, married former Penn State fullback Matt Hahn, who once scored one whole touchdown, and then they Tweeted a bunch of pictures of themselves getting dressed up for a Nickelback concert night on the Vegas strip to celebrate their nuptials with class and style.

Wanna hop in my time machine, travel back to October and make bets on why they actually got married?

“Expecting big things for 2012…Five down, four months to go,” Uchitel tweeted.

The former “Celebrity Rehab” star secretly married Hahn in October and the two have been living in San Francisco since their wedding…

(Via CBS News)

Wait, hold on. I know I suck at math, but her wedding was only two months ago and she has been pregnant for five? Color me shocked.

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