We Heard Tim Tebow Is Dating Naked Megan Fox Lesbian Upskirt

This is why we can’t have nice things, Internet.

Tim Tebow, as we all know very well by now, is a good Christian boy with strong morals and ethics that he has used to develop himself into one heck of a role model and successful professional athlete. And because it all boils down to his religion, he has quickly become the most polarizing person in professional sports. That means one thing – page views like a mother f*cker.

Nobody knows that more than gossip sites, which thrive on being able to make up anything they want, attribute it all to “sources close to *insert celebrity’s name*” and just sit back and watch the traffic numbers roll up. It’s basically the opposite of when I post about my love for the German Fencing League. (Soon enough, Hans and Friedrich.)

Enter OK! Magazine, Hollywood Life and dozens of other sites that yesterday circulated some version of this “news” with headlines suggesting that Tebow was possibly dating not-even-completely-divorced-yet pop star Katy Perry.

“[Katy’s] mentioned on more than one occasion how much she likes Tim,” a source tells OK! magazine.”Katy’s mom firmly believes the best cure for heartache is to quickly fall in love again… In her mind, Tebow is the perfect guy for her daughter. He’s handsome, charming, intelligent and above all, a good Christian.”

Katy’s parents have gone as far as inviting Tim to speak at the church Katy used to sing at in Huntington Beach, Calif. Of course — when Katy will be there!

So a “source” told a magazine that’s name makes absolutely ZERO sense that Tebow is a good Christian that is easy on the eyes. Who was the source – anyone with a pulse? Have we finally reached a point that I can just say that a “source” told me whatever I want people to believe?

If that’s the case, a source told me Mike Vick is dating Casey Anthony. Another source told me that Mitt Romney has a sex tape with Lindsay Lohan and yet another source told me that LeBron James has an illegitimate child with Kirstie Alley and it was born with pineapples for hands. Hey, I’m just telling you what my sources told me.

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