The best part is that a guy who can create exploding chemistry bombs is getting bossed around by his wife. “That’s it, you’re DONE!” I’d be like, “f**k you, eat a face of death bubbles” and just spread gun that sh*t at her. Via Buzzfeed.
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Pot, Meet Kettle: Shaq Calls Dwight Howard Leaving Orlando A “Travesty” - Now he’s got to start insulting peoples’ terrible rap albums and genie movies. [Smoking Section]
20 Most Cromulent ‘Simpsons’ GIFs - I was hoping the Grandpa Simpson “walks in, sees Bart, turns right around and leaves” gif from the Maison Derrière would make the cut. [Warming Glow]
Submit your questions for our first “Ask a Porn Dude,” with Seymour Butts - Two-parter: “Can you get me Shane from Shane’s World’s phone number, and if so, how much would she like to sleep with someone who is extremely nostalgic about her?” [Film Drunk]
The 10 Definitive Nicolas Cage GIFs - It must be weird when 10% of you is a genius, and 90% of you is just AHHH THE BEES NOT THE BEES NOT THE BEES AHGGGHHHH [UPROXX]
International Trailer For The Amazing Spider-Man Shows New Action - Spider-Man battles The Shocker, can’t see him because he’s looking through yellow eyes, gets shocked, dies. [Gamma Squad]
In Case You Were Wondering, Chris Brown Is Still The Absolute Worst - If I could put one fandom on The Magic School Bus and tell Ms. Frizzle to pilot that sh*t into the sun, it would be Team Breezy. [UPROXX]
Shirtless Jeff Goldblum Pretty Much Demanded Jurassic Parks And Rec To Happen - That “I thought it was terrible wine” line still makes me laugh. Everything needs to get mashed up with Jurassic Park. [UPROXX]
Bill O’Reilly To Kate Upton: “Get Off My Lawn!” - Re-linked here to help meet our Kate Upton quota for the day. The best part is that O’Reilly thinks the dancing is what we like about her video. [With Leather]
Ten More GIFs Of Jeremy Lin, The Most Undeniably Exciting Thing In Sports Right Now - The most exciting thing about sports is that pitchers and catchers report this month, but I’ll give it to them, Lin is #2. #3 is slam dunks! [Buzzfeed]
Man Suffers Heart Attack While Eating at Heart Attack Grill - Hold on, I need to put in my monocle before I write about this story. [Popcrush]
11 Crappiest Movies Of Michael Caine’s Career - “Come on, it wasn’t that funny of a movie” has to be this generation’s most damning insult. Also, Cars 2 blew so hard. [Pajiba]
Eight Giant Movie Plot Holes in Eight Images - Some of these are good (the Toy Story one in particular made me go, “ha, oh man, you’re right”) and some aren’t (Star Trek, Jurassic Park). Regardless, it’s something I’d like to see more of. [Unreality]
Nas Tells His Craziest Party Story Ever - “One time when I was chillin’, I grabbed the buddha, got my crew to buy beers, and I watched a flick … of course, I was both illin’ and rooting for the villian. Anyway … huh?” [Brobible]
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