I hoped to have a wildly hilarious recap of the NBA’s All-Star Weekend here in Orlando, and between the celebrities, players, posses, groupies and terrified townies, I figured we were in for something spectacular. Well, I was wrong. The whole thing was pretty boring, actually.
The game was about as underwhelming and predictable as most All-Star games are, and hoo boy was the Slam Dunk Contest a turd or what? I mean, shouldn’t the NBA make it mandatory for the reigning dunk contest champion and at least the hometown star to compete each year? There’s really no reason that Blake Griffin and Dwight Howard shouldn’t have given us the ultimate dunk off. And of course LeBron James proved in the All-Star game itself that he should compete in the dunk competition, but that’s a different post in itself.
The parties were tame (Dwight’s airport hangar party was a real dud according to friends) and the most star watching I got to do was trying to figure out who was behind the wheel of a silver Mercedes Maybach that almost splattered me Friday night. In all, I’d say the most entertaining thing that I saw this weekend was a video of a machete fight on Friday night.
Seriously. A machete. That’s how my city rolls.